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I brought my mom back to Vermont after being in Va 5 years due to my half brother beating me up and taking lots of mom's money, he is Bi-Polar. I was beat up twice by him and glad to get mom out of the drama. Well he apologized after 7 years and I had calls from his Doctor's saying that he was suicidal. Being a good sister I moved back and he looked good. 2 weeks down the road he is off his medications and a different person. I managed to get mom into an assisted living today. But I want to go back to Va and I want to take mom. She had a great Senior Share down there and I am beyond stressed. I have POA but not Guardianship. Probably I would not stand a chance of moving her back with me. She also will side in with my brother, her son if confronted as she has moderate dementia and does not think right. I know if I left all her funds would be gone sooner. What can I do?

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Are there any other siblings, aunts, uncles, who could help you be POA?

You need to be able to take care of yourself first.

Passing on this thought to you, concerning your brother:
"The future is often so much like the past and present, only more of it".

I think you will stay strong, and make better decisions for both you and Mom in the future.

What is the fastest way to get from Virginia to Vermont?
The quickest way to get from Virginia to Vermont is to fly which costs $100 - $370 and takes 2h 38m.
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STAYSTRONG57 Sep 2019
I have a vehicle and can only fly into Roanoke or Greenbsoro NC if I flew and the cost would be easily $600 but I have a car and mom is totally insulin dependent. Then of course my stuff is left behind and I am sure will all be destroyed. Not sure if the current Assisted Living will give me her meds or report to the state that I am moving her.
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Staystrong:
You said: " But I want to go back to Va and I want to take mom.
She had a great Senior Share down there and I am beyond stressed."

Focus. Try to focus.

Complete this sentence: She had a great Senior Share down there......

Can you tell us if that is at all possible to get her housing again in VA?
You are POA. If you got your Mom in AL, you have that power to move her, looking out for her best interests.

Did she like living in VA?
Does she have any friends there?
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Sometimes we have to protect ourselves first. If your mom will protect your brother at your expense it may be time to let go.

If you have to leave because she doesn't call his behavior then she will need to suffer the consequences of her choices. I don't believe protecting him is because she has moderate dementia, I bet it is a lifetime of covering up his mental illness and the unacceptable behavior.

If she allows him to take all her money then they get to figure it out. Once you leave, let it go.

If your brother touches you call the police and press charges, there is no excuse for abuse.
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AlvaDeer Sep 2019
I agree with this. Not everything can be fixed.
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