If she wants me to take care of her, her home she out right owns, her medical needs and her when she can't make any decisions how am I going to help do the right thing if no legal papers are signed with her attorney? I'm confused and don't want to disrespect her because she believes she is still of sound mind. I've tried to get the attorney name and number but haven't been able to do so. Is it illegal to get that information and will the attorney tell me anything? My aunt alice said my name is on all the documents but yet have to see them. I don't want a stranger to to just step in and take over. She has no other living relatives. Please help some advice would be apprieated. Aunt Alice's niece.
Some casual groceries like you would for a neighbour with an inury?
Or more extensive eg help with home cleaning, arranging maintenance, support for appointments etc?
Sometimes it is assumed the daughter/niece is the best 'caregiver' for those tasks... but no expectation for this to extend to financial matters. I have seen daughters run ragged with chores who were chosen as the 'most helpful' yet a son/nephew or another daughter chosen for financial matters.
While I can see the sense in that.. (an accountant may not make the best bath aide & vice versa!) it would be wise to know where you stand.
Having committed to being The Carer but with no legal/financial ability to back out is NOT where anyone should let themselves be cornered.
I'm thinking of what I'd do with a child. Oh you want me to take you to the store? Not until we get your paperwork taken care of. It sounds kind of mean but sometimes you need to bring people to a teachable moment.
The way you write this, she seems to understand just not doing it. Seven years into a Dementia there's usually a much bigger decline.
If you think she is capable of understanding consequences, I would tell her if she wants these things done it needs to be done now. Because, if she does ever get incapacitated and she has no one set up to handle her care, then the State/Government will step in. You will have no input concerning her care and they will assign a guardian who will take over her money. That person will plan her life and where she will be placed. I am not passed doing a little threatening.
Personally if your aunt doesn’t trust you now she will most likely be difficult to help. I would pursue guardianship and have it resolved one way or another to enable you to get on with your life.