Mom has 2 homes and lives alone. She is constantly losing things and forgetting things and messing up her meds. She is unwilling to accept help. What can I do legally?

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Has she always been like this? One cf aunts has always been a bit dingy, so it's hard to know if she has a problem or just continues to be a ding dong. A very nice one, but it makes a big difference if it a way of life or not.

The meds is an issue, which others have already given you a suggestion for.

Good luck.
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If misplacing and forgetting things constitutes dementia, I’ve had it all my life.

Is Mom a danger to herself? I noticed some little things with my mom, but when I kicked it into gear was when very truly “odd” things began to happen. She was always paranoid but when she began to hide her wallet and then claimed someone broke into her apartment and stole it AND called the police, I knew something wasn’t right. There were more and more things like that.

In order to know how to proceed, first off, have a calm and respectful conversation with Mom. Take her to lunch and during the meal tell her you lost your car keys the other day. Tell her how upset you were and then how foolish you felt. “Gosh, Mom, does that ever happen to you?” Take it from there. Keep the discussion light and loving. Don’t make a huge deal out of it. Let her tell you what she feels she needs or wants. Do not tell her what you think she needs. Don’t worry about legalities until she is formally evaluated and diagnosed. If she is, come back here and we will take it from there.
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If you wish to assume guardianship that would mean a lot of money to an elder law attorney, and the end of any freedom and say for your mother. It would mean assuming responsibilities not only for her but for her finances, her homes, and would mean meticulous record keeping. I would not be too quick to assume all of this. Forgetting things and losing things are not untypical of any of us, and esp of those of us with any anxiety issues. You say she has "dementia". When was this diagnosed? And what stage is it? Who is handling her bills at this time.

Medications may be easily handled with prepackaged medications, or med trays. Then again she may not be capable of that. Only you can tell us. I cannot know all the issues here, but if this is done too early, and there is placement either out of her home into yours OR in a facility, she may dislike you quite a lot for your trouble.
Only you and your Mom's doc knows the real situation here. Start with a real evaluation if that is not already done, and if you are worried. In fact, if you do not have a medical POA with advanced directives and such I would start there, because her doctor will be unable to speak with you for starters.
Wishing you good luck. Were I you I would start a diary now of problems seen that are of a serious nature. They will help you to sort out when and in what way to move forward. Try to take it a day at a time. I am assuming none of these changes have been sudden, with the need of testing for UTI, but not a bad idea to have a physical assessment all way around anyway.
Good luck.
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