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We live in New Mexico. I have been helping take care of my mom and her husband for the last 3 years. Her husband pays with both their money for an agency to come in and do home care. He gave me medical and durable power of attorney last year over both of them, while in the hospital, when getting out of the ICU unit (we have since discovered, that he asked his son and his daughter and they both refused to be POA over him). In December of 2017 we caught him taking moms pills (he showed signs of being addicted to her tramadol), not giving mom her pills, lying to everyone about everything, forgetting appointments, forgetting to take his meds, changing scripts on his med bottles (we keep moms meds in lock box now), stealing money from moms trust account with an out dated power of attorney, faxes from where he is taking money out of moms insurance policy with an out dated POA, and much more. His doctor referred him to basically the mental ward at the hospital for a full mental evaluation, at which time they stated he has major depression. One of his requirements to go home was that he agreed to 24 hr care for him and my mom. Upon returning home, he and his son, called Adult Protective Services on my brother and I for basically stealing money from him. (he is claiming he is broke). This was done as a retaliation to me having signed the paperwork at the hospital for him to be admitted. It's now been over 50 days, since I or my brother have seen our mom, had contact (besides his constant text messages and hang up calls) with her husband, or had any contact with APS. He does not have 24 hr care, he is not physically able to take care of my mom. He has stage 3-4 kidney failure, copd, congestive heart failure ( 1 heart attack already), memory loss, hearing loss, on a bpap machine because his body retains C02, oxygen 24/7, and much more. He is not physically able to change mom, or move her in her bed to prevent bed sores, he does not cook, he is not physically able to do ADL without help himself. My mom deserves a better life than what she is getting, this man does not care anymore about her wellbeing. What process, can my family take, to get mom out of this man's care. We need to so do something before all her savings, accounts, and insurance is swindled away by this man and his family and before she is staved to death. Her hospice nurse last week informed me that she sees a noticeable weight loss since I have not been taking her food that I cook. She deserves the ones that love her to be back in her life daily, she deserves to receive the care she needs. She does not have long left, but she needs care and love, not the abuse she is receiving. Adult Protective Services are a joke, and is not doing anything to protect my mom. I need other ways to getting mom help, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

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Someone will be along with advice on the POAs.

I had some POAs and used them and never had problems.

I think Old POAs need to be revoked and that you can resign as POA.
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Cuzzles,

If the Hospice was in place for your Mom was a good one I would suggest to start there.

When my Stepdad went on Hospice they would NOT allow my Mom to be his primary caregiver in the home. Mom had signs of Dementia but was no where as compromised as your Mom’s husband.

Just the fact that the man was taking your Mom’s pain meds in the past, IMO, makes him the last person that needs to be overseeing her Comfort Care.

You certainly should be able to voice your concerns to the Hospice Social Worker.

Do you get along well with the mans kids?
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Guardianship is a good idea but it takes a very long time, you'll need a lawyer, and is quite expensive at upwards of $10,000. Maybe $8000 depending on where you live. Pursue this if you can but what will you do in the meantime?

I suggest you call the police (not 911) and ask them to do a welfare check on your mom. Start compiling a record.
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I found out today from the hospice social worker, that APS is not allowing them to use my POA, because he is claiming he did not know he signed it. They can no longer talk to me about anything. I have looked for an attorney in the town I live in, but there are none here that do Elder law so I have to look out of town. The hospice nurse told me a while back, that as long as they take other measures to secure her meds, that they can not report such things. And they (the hospice nurse or the social worker from hospice) do not seem to be worried about how much care she gets. Believe me, once I figure out what I can do, I will be letting this hospice company go.
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I believe you need to go through Hospice. I don’t understand why, If she is under the care of a hospice nurse the nurse has not reported this neglect. Couldn’t she lose her license for non-reporting this? As for Mom’s finances, I wonder if you have POA over everything, her husband still has full access to her funds. Get an attorney. Notify APS you are getting one. Document and/or photograph any signs of neglect, including Mom’s weight loss and her husband’s mental decline. It’s time for you to step up and advocate for Mom. Use her doctor, the hospice and the attorney to do whatever you can to get her out of this situation.
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You will need to get Guardianship over Mom. He has a POA on Mom. This should have been revoked when he asked you to become POA for both of them. Just a suggestion, once u get Guardianship, sever all ties with Moms husband. I would tell the lawyer who wrote up the POA you no longer want the responsibility. Other members will be posting.
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