She never should have been placed in Hospice. After two months of us trying to parse the idea of her imminent demise, they decided she wasn't dying and discharged her while telling stories about my caregiving. Taking a grain of truth and spinning it into me being an uncaring monster leeching off her in order to get her house. My brother, my son and myself spent the last 20 yrs taking care of her while letting our own lives fall by the wayside. Everything snowballed once hospice started, after a very rough winter, yes the house is dingy and needs a good cleaning. We were working on that since spring was approaching. I asked for help multiple times, pointed out how mom is VERY resistant to having her adult male children help her with colostomy bag . After ten yrs plus as a colon cancer survivor and ALWAYS doing this herself without probs, on the anti agitation drugs hospice put her on due to her refusal to coop with them, she had an accident, embarassed, and knowing the nurses were coming, she chose to hide it from me. They went nutz accusing me of not checking her for days, utter crap, I'd checked her that am but she kept blankets tight under chin and was asleep. They spun stories about me not dealing with her meds. In the chaos of different discharge doctors changing scrips at will, yes we spaced some things. Bottom line is, the county is saying we are horrible caregivers. we have two months to bring everything up to their standards or they take her pension and sell the house the three of us are dependant on as our inheritance and future.. we want her to live, at her home and with her family, as she wishes. This is destroying the family. I need help.

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This was posted almost two months ago and poster never came back.
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Reply to JoAnn29

What is she saying?
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Reply to shad250

Sounds like you had better get busy .... you only have two months. Unless you want to fight city hall. Good luck.
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Reply to dlpandjep

It is hard to know what the place looked like from your posting. There should have been a court proceeding if things got this far. Did you appear in court to contest? At this point you now have to follow through. I am curious if you ever thought that the future may have included her going into a nursing home which would wipe out her income and her home when the application for Medicade happened. Take things in small chunks at a time to resolve the situation you are now in but be mindful they you will have to consider finding work and maybe starting out again
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Reply to MACinCT

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