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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Dad takes care of his own toilet functions. He has moderate dementia. He is pleasant. However, he refuses walker use and is having falls more. We do not need the 16 hours a week required by most agencies. Any ideas?
Have you looked into adult day care centers for 1 day a week? It is a great social opportunity. Even if it is every Tuesdat, for instance, you can work all of your appointments for the same time
I agree with all the other suggestions offered, and have one more. If there is a nursing school or a school with a certified nursing assistant program near you, try putting up signs there.
I have tried asking college students who offer regular babysitting if they would do elder babysitting, and had one girl who worked out well for a few weeks then quit. Believe it or not, I have also asked people who have dog walking businesses how they find their people as they are all presumably kind, trustworthy, and looking for part-time work. I found a person that way who worked out pretty well for a few months then they ended up having a falling out and she quit same day, leaving me in the lurch. The ones from agencies are sometimes sick, late, “forget” to come etc. I think they are only getting about $18 per hour so…..
Dad is falling frequently. Someone should be in the house with him at all times. "I've fallen and I can't get up" isn't only a TV commercial.
"Oh, but I'm always home in three hours or so!" Uh-huh. How many hours is it acceptable for dad to lie on the floor bleeding? "Oh, but we'll get him one of those alarms to wear around his neck!" Yeah, but with dementia and a fall, he may be too addled or injured to use it.
Your post is exactly what people post here right before dear relative has a major fall and is now in rehab, and then they're asking for advice about where to place him when rehab kicks him out. Dad will fall no matter what, especially since he won't use his walker and there's no point in arguing because he has dementia.
There are no easy answers, but it IS possible to project what will happen next and be ready for it.
You should look at a caregiver website like care.com if all your father needs is a babysitter when you're not around. You'll find a good person there and will be able to negotiate the pay with them personally and design your own plan with them and when you will need them.
I have a homecare agency and am advising you to not go through a homecare agency for what you need because you'll end up spending a fortune and being under contract for hours you don't need or want.
Look at a caregiver website. Put up what you're looking for and the per diem days you want a companion/sitter. You'll find someone who will be flexible. Of course your appointments will have to be made during the days and times you and the per diem companion/sitter agree to. You can't expect someone to keep every day free in case you need them. That's not how per diem works in homecare. In homecare per diem is you want someone to be flexible on certain set days and hours in case you need them. A per diem costs more, but if you hire privately it will be far cheaper than an agency.
Also our county office of aging had a list of elder sitters available. There were probably 300 women listed and their phone numbers. Most were CNA's or GNA's. The list was not vetted (backround checked.)
Since your Dad is a fall risk, he needs an aid who is experience and certified. It wouldn't be ethical to have an unsuspecting person or place (Adult Day Care) accept a gig with someone who refuses to do the 1 thing that would keep them safer: use a walker. It sounds like you live together? Is this why you don't want someone in your residence for 16 hours? If not, then I would consider fanagling the truth with your Dad: tell him his doctor is "prescribing" him to have a helper since he won't use his walker. You can also tell him that Medicare will pay for it, if he balks at the cost (which many seniors tend to do). If this gets him the appropriate care and gives you much needed time to yourself, then therapeutic fibs are not immoral. It's for his benefit, and people with dementia cannot use reason and logic as their disease progresses.
If he is pleasant and able to handle toileting on his own he might enjoy and even benefit from regular visits to a local adult day care. The one by my mom’s place only requires independent toileting to be able to attend and it could be a lovely break for both of you.
Care.com. Try also some thought of looking on NextDoor for those willing to take this on. It won't be easy to get people for just a few hours here and there as most people rely on a job that will pay their bills, has certain predictable hours and etc. You may be down to family and friends for the most part. I sure wish you good luck, and if you find a way to find some folk to help I hope you will let us know here. Sharing is how we learn on this Forum.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I have tried asking college students who offer regular babysitting if they would do elder babysitting, and had one girl who worked out well for a few weeks then quit. Believe it or not, I have also asked people who have dog walking businesses how they find their people as they are all presumably kind, trustworthy, and looking for part-time work. I found a person that way who worked out pretty well for a few months then they ended up having a falling out and she quit same day, leaving me in the lurch. The ones from agencies are sometimes sick, late, “forget” to come etc. I think they are only getting about $18 per hour so…..
Call all the Community programs and religious programs in your area, they will be happy to help you find resources.
"Oh, but I'm always home in three hours or so!" Uh-huh. How many hours is it acceptable for dad to lie on the floor bleeding? "Oh, but we'll get him one of those alarms to wear around his neck!" Yeah, but with dementia and a fall, he may be too addled or injured to use it.
Your post is exactly what people post here right before dear relative has a major fall and is now in rehab, and then they're asking for advice about where to place him when rehab kicks him out. Dad will fall no matter what, especially since he won't use his walker and there's no point in arguing because he has dementia.
There are no easy answers, but it IS possible to project what will happen next and be ready for it.
I have a homecare agency and am advising you to not go through a homecare agency for what you need because you'll end up spending a fortune and being under contract for hours you don't need or want.
Look at a caregiver website. Put up what you're looking for and the per diem days you want a companion/sitter. You'll find someone who will be flexible. Of course your appointments will have to be made during the days and times you and the per diem companion/sitter agree to. You can't expect someone to keep every day free in case you need them. That's not how per diem works in homecare. In homecare per diem is you want someone to be flexible on certain set days and hours in case you need them. A per diem costs more, but if you hire privately it will be far cheaper than an agency.
I'd call around some more.
The agencies prefer if you have the same time every week and 8:30 - 2:00ish is the easiest for agencies to fill as they have a lot of working Moms.
There were a number of times I called an agencies to have them staff for a one time event. Again, they have a 3 or 4 hour minimum.