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She is a delightful healthy and very pleasant and appreciative human being. She does not wander, but needs help with ADL including med. reminders, meal prep. and lt housekeeping.

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24/7 oversight really it’s either what Freqflyer was able to set up for her dad OR they go into a facility. Even if family is doing some of the caregiving, it’s still 3 shifts per day.

If she truly is healthy but has dementia so there's medication management issues, it may be that she needs MC / memory care or AL/ assisted living. I would encourage her to move sooner rather than later. Why? There’s a real rhythm to how these places run. There’s arts & crafts, activities, some sort of chapel / services, etc. Getting them moved in while they are still able to participate is imo very important. If your friend is mobile & pleasant, so interacts well with others, the staff is gonna love her.

Often the elder is all fearful of leaving their home. They are entrenched in the pattern that that home gives them.
So family wait till theres finally an incident, like a hip break, that forces them go to the hospital and afterwards into a NH. But often by this time, their ability to get involved with the flow of a facikity has passed. They end up sitting in thier room or in a wheelchair by the nurses station day in day out. I saw this at places my mom was at. It’s so heartbreaking. If only the move had been earlier they’d be actually doing activities and interacting.

is there any possibility of getting her to downsize from her home to a MC or AL?
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Freqflyer is correct about the cost of care for 24 hours. It will cost more than nursing homes. She might be able to get some periodic assistance through her state or Medicaid if she qualifies with enough ADL needs.
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Reply to MACinCT
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singraham47, when my Dad needed around the clock care because he was a major fall risk, I called one of the nationwide caregiving Agencies, such as Home Instead. The Rep came out to interview Dad and to check out the house to see that it was safe.... and in the mean time I interviewed the Rep.

Dad had 3 shifts of caregivers and it worked out great. I see you are asking for one person to live in the same home as your Mom. We decided for the 3 shifts of caregivers so that no one would get burned out. I have to say, it was pretty expensive. In my area, the cost was $20k per month, yes per month.

Later down the road, my Dad [95] wanted to check out senior living, and he was so happy to move there, the cost was more affordable for him at $5k per month, plus he was around people of his own age group :)

Eventually Dad was moved to the facility assisted living/memory care, which he also enjoyed. We use to joke about his college dorm sized room :)
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