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My mom has been my dad's POA. I had to move my Dad close to me to Care for him. I had nothing on him, didn’t even have copies of his insurance stuff. The NH had him sign a POA putting me in charge of his health because my Mom is 4.5 hours away. The NH also said the only POA they had on file from the other place had him as his own POA which is not what my parents said they had done.


Anyways, we are moving my mom here in December. Do I give her back the POA or leave it like it is? I wonder if she will be upset about this? I had to do it and my Dad agreed.

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karen - leave it as it is. Yes it is easy to do another one when your mum arrives, and put your daughter on as secondary if that is what your parents wish. It makes sense. You mentioned not knowing anything about finances? As they are getting frailer, it is advisable for someone to have POA financial as well. Discuss it with your parents. and, I would suggest having an attorney to draw up the type of POA they want. Good luck.
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My Dad signed a new POA which legally over rides the other POA. The NH does not have a copy of his original POA.
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That makes sense if you r on the original paperwork as secondary. Your Dad probably signed paperwork allowing the NH to talk to you because ur secondary. I think Mom is still #1 though.
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Well, I moved my Dad here suddenly and had been told by my parents by his original rehab facility that I was a secondary person on his health POA. He ended up going into the hospital and then was transferred from the hospital to the nh close to me. I had no records or anything and was told by the new NH that I was only listed as an emergency contact in his file. The NH talked to my Dad and he designated me as his POA of health and there was a witness present. He signed it. I did not have to sign anything. The new NH asked him questions to mak sure he was not impaired. I think I will just leave it as it is.

I had to do something so I could even ask questions about him and access his records to make sure he is receiving the best care possible. The NH told me they don’t normally do that, but in this case they would.

My Mom has all of their papers and they have good lawyers where they lived. My Mom moves here mid December.
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Sorry, but I have never heard of a person being their own POA. It doesn't make sense. Now Mom being his and him being hers does. Never heard of a NH having the power to assign someone as POA over someone else. Your Mom's would have to be revolked and ur Dad signing off on u being assigned. He would have to be with it to do this. In my state only a lawyer can write up a POA and it has to be witnessed.
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As long as your dad is competent he can assign anyone he wants as his POA for financial and health.
It's not uncommon for spouses to assign one another BUT the problem is if they have a health issue and then are unable to act they are left with no one to act for them.
A younger person is better for that reason.
Do you have siblings? I assume not.
The best thing to do is have an elder attorney counsel your family. Someone who can look at all their finances. Your dad is in the NH. Is he on private pay? Will he someday need Medicaid?
These are all things you need to discuss with the attorney.
You can learn a lot by reading this website but when it comes right down to it everyone's lives are unique and each state has different laws. Find an attorney to advise you and your parents.
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Ohhhhh, I never thought about my Mom's POA. Good point! My parents told me that they were each other's POA and that I was a secondary on their POA. However, when my Dad moved here, the NH received records from the other rehab facility and the NH told me that he was the only person listed on his POA. These are just health POA's. The financial part I have nothing to do with.

Is it easy to do another POA when my Mom arrives or to put my daughter on his as secondary? She is a nurse.
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Karen39
A POA is a lot of responsibility. It's a blessing to your parents that you have the POA for your dad. It's good for a younger person to have it as your mom may or may not be able to make decisions for your dad when the time comes, Just like now. She's not there and you are. But all that has to happen is that your dad can sign a new POA giving your mom back the responsibility if that is what he decides he wants to do. The POA needs to be someone your dad trusts to carry out his wishes. Someone that is willing to accept the responsibility. Is your mom competent? Did your dad give you financial and medical POA? And please realize, the only person you can give a POA for is yourself. Should something happen to your dad to where he lost the ability to make decisions for himself, he would not be able to sign another one.
So you do not give your dads POA to your mother, only your dad can assign his own POA.
By the way, who has your mothers POA? If it is your dad, that should probably be changed. With him being in the NH he is most likely not able to act in her stead should something happen to her.
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In my opinion, I would just continue to act as POA until Mom raises an issue. I am guessing that you are referring to health care proxy not financial POA. Your other post says Mom is having difficulty understanding health procedures. You are more likely to ask good questions and follow through. Our parents look on medical professional in awe and are often uncomfortable asking questions.
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