I miss my me time! Does anyone else feel like this?

I had some *me time* this morning, finally.... it was my annual physical with my primary doctor, took an hour.... ok, I realize me time should be something nice to do, but I will take whatever I can get :)

One night I was so upset I had to wait for her bedtime, so I just told her, I'm going to give you your eye drops now and your last pill for the day is on your nightstand. (It's not an important pill)

That went on for a few nights before she got up from the couch on her own and said, I'm going to bed now. I nearly dropped! I believe (I don't know this because she's not verbal) she didn't like going to bed without my tucking her in and playing the music on the CD.

In the afternoons, I take a nap. She doesn't like being out here without anyone, so she goes in to take a nap, announcing it for the entire world to hear.

One other chore I don't do is cook elaborate meals. By elaborate, I mean anything over thirty minutes. Every meat I cook is baked for thirty minutes @ 350 in a pan on foil that I can throw away. You can do this for boneless chicken, fish, small pork chops, pretty much anything. I never peel potatoes anymore. It may be more expensive, but there is just the two of us, and the small portion of salt she is going to get out of that serving is minimal. All vegetables are frozen. Desert can be sugar free Jello with Cool Whip for her. I sneak the good stuff later.

My mom is on a very strict diet because of heart/kidney/diabetic issues. Davita has been a great site for me, showing the food she can eat. I've modified my way of cooking them to suit my time limits. Flat breads are good for sandwiches as long as fillings aren't too much for her to chew. Soups are good, and it's where my thirty minute limit isn't practiced. Some pea soups can be made in pressure cooker. I do mine in slow cooker. Again, no huge amount of time spent preparing, and in the slow cooker, no need to constantly watch.

There are so many things that can be dropped off the to do list is you're willing to let them go. My house doesn't always look that great, but hey, it's either me or the house. For now, I'll take me.

@gladImHere - The bane of my existence, the dreaded Time Change! I can't deal with it at times, let alone someone with lost brain function!

@Sherri - WendiLu is commenting, not twisting anyone's arm. If it helps her deal with what we're all dealing with, it may just help someone else.

Tnx for the thoughts. Had a caregiver here for the first time for a 4 hour shift. Was really good to talk to someone and not needing to repeat due to hearing loss or cognitive misunderstanding.

Dear OJ 1977 - I'm sorry that you are facing such a disappointing time, not only are you worried and heartsick about your parent, but the little rest you could hope for has been snatched from you.
I checked with my county today and found out that they offer respite care, visiting nurse and meals on wheels. This is something new as I have looked before about a year and a half ago. Check with your county of city. I'm going to look into respite care. Unlike some of you who have no help, I have a great lady who lives with us, but she can't work 24-7. I can only afford 25 hours per week, but she often goes beyond that. We are both needing some respite at this point. Mother has taken quite a downward turn since she turned 103. In fact all of 2014 has been a downhill slide. We love them so much it's hard to watch them wither away. The strong loving parent is reduced to a mentally deficient weakling.

WendiLu, I apologize for snapping. It was one of my worse days. I know you meant well.

I realize now that "me" time is alright for me or anyone else to have & the amount of it is freely determined by the person who needs it. Putting things into perspective is crucial. I am in charge of me & you are in charge of you. I say what goes for me & that is that. I no longer resent others who don't offer their time or resources, as it is their life, time, & resources to spend how they want. I do the best I can, now & do what I need to for me now without apologizing. As the poem "Invictus" goes: "I am the master of my fate. I am the Captain of my soul." Believe it. I make it my truth. blou

Dear all. After alot of hoping, finger crossing and prayer I got to go on holiday. I had a hard time.not worrying about my mom. Around day 3 my sister had to sit me down and assure me that I was supposed to relax and that mom was in good hands. We had a family friend, sister and home care nurses taking care of her. I had nothing to worry about. I know I am extremely lucky to have an opportunity to go on holiday. I hope you all can make it happen for yourself.
Love O

Me time is often gained by taking my mother with me and having her wait int he car while I do my shopping. She gets to watch the people go by, sit in the sunshine and change her scenery while I snatch 15 - 20 minutes in the store. Fortunately I can still count on her staying in the car while I'm gone. I know that many of you are not even able to have that much.
The other thing I do is to stay up very late while the house is quiet. I get up to a couple of hours that way. I can sleep late when her care-giver prepares breakfast sometimes.

Healthy Food is Faster to cook. My favorite meal is steamed vegetables: brocoli or cauliflower, beans or edame (soybeans), mushrooms, slices of sweet potato, or carrots, zuchini or yellow squash, red pepper strips, etc. It is fast (under 10 minutes), healthy and colorful. You can make a dip of good quality peanut butter, sunflower butter, blended with almond milk, or coconut milk and a dash of red pepper or sweet chili sauce. Just whisk the nut butter with the other ingredients to make it creamy and more liquid. Instead of the milks, you can also use the vegetable water beneath the steamer: just a tablepsoon or two to thin it out. Dipping the cooked veggies in it tastes great and is fun to eat. Don't overcook the veggies. I find a big plate of this is plenty to eat. Later dessert is a serving of fresh fruit. Now what could be simpler than that?

I never tire of this meal because I have different veggies and sometimes I invent different dipping sauces. If you like cheese; make a cheese sauce. Keep it whole and simple and fast. I like a Thai inspired vinegar, water, Sweet Chili sauce combo too.

Another easy meal is cut up roasted root vegetables. Cut up brussel sprouts in halves, slices of beets, sweet potato, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, chunks of cabbage, slices of onion and garlic: toss with a little olive oil and salt it all slightly. Put in oven for about 40-45 minutes on 375. Check it halfway through and give it a stir. Easy peasy and fun to eat. I dumped the leftovers into a simple salad the next day. After that the last bit livened up some leftover turkey soup.
Cooking doesn't have to be hard.
Eating raw as much as possible is so important and so easy.

"Me" time needs to happen for everyone. I have told my mom she is not to come upstairs before 10am. It hurt her feelings but now she is starting to find projects to do and stay's down stairs longer. I think when they move in that they feel it's your house and they do not feel comfortable doing things with out you. Mom is getting a lot better. If they have a hobby try to get them back into it. Took me a year but she is now sewing and crafting but be careful because if they can't handle what their doing they will ask you to help and then "ME" time is really a thing of the past. Unless you like their hobby too and in that situation then its a win win on both sides. Mom and I were sewing together the other day and her attitude changed overnite and she is a pretty happy person again and now branching out on other projects. Hope this helps.