Mother is PHN (nerve damage) from the shingles. It is extremely excruciating pain. She is taking Lyrica and Cymbalta. Mom is having issues controlling her balance and has fallen multiple times. The medication also causes her to be extremely sleepy, but will not go to sleep. (As if she is a child that tries to not fall asleep because she will miss something).
In my case, I never saw my parents aging earlier on because they kept busy doing volunteer work up into their late 80's, and they walked 2 miles every day rain or shine. But once they had issues with falling, their eyesight, their hearing, etc. they then aged very quickly.
I had to constantly remind them that I was a senior citizen myself with my own slowly creeping up age related issues. Sorry, no more ladder climbing, or picking up 30 bags of mulch, etc. If I said "no" to anything, they looked at me like my hair was on fire. So watch out for that dynamic.
Check with your Mom's doctor about meds that will help with balance, such as anti-vert. My Mom had balance issues and anti-vert really helped her. The meds did make her sleepy.
Wish I could have convince my Mom to use a walker instead of her cane. She said walkers would make her look old.... she was 97. Dad loved his rolling walker. Mom didn't want Dad to go outside with his walker "what would the neighbor's think?". Well, they probably would think "it's about time".
Hope your Mom can feel more comfortable real soon.
It is hard to watch people we love suffer and not being able to make them feel better.
I wonder if the medication is causing the balance issues. The sleepiness and not sleeping can do that too. She may need to use a walker just to keep herself steady and upright.
Could be the meds she is taking don't erase all the pain with the nerve damage. It may be she wants to sleep but really can't. Maybe laying down causes more pain? Maybe she is afraid that if she goes to sleep she won't wake up. Maybe the meds cause nightmares making her afraid to sleep.
Have you asked her why she refuses to sleep?
I would continue to communicate her issues to her main doctor to see if adjusting the meds or different meds may be a strategy to help her.
As for watching our parents aging in real time... we are all doing that. If you have kids of your own, they are also seeing it in you. Because of my Christian faith I have an eternal perspective on life and its meaning/purpose and this uplifts me every day. I can only just gently remind you that we are mortal and no one escapes aging, decline and death. So, coming to peace with the reality of life may need to be a daily exercise. IMO this is what "aging gracefully" means.
We must also come to peace with the fact that each capable person has been solely responsible for their decisions their whole life. I'm not sure why your mom didn't get the vaccine but she is living the consequences of that choice. I practice "counting my blessings" when I'm having struggles, and when my 92-yr old has struggles, I encourage her to count her blessings (i.e. she is not a 92-yr old living in Mariupol, Ukraine). This in no way discounts her problems or pain, but we have to look at it straight in the eye and deal with it the best we can, as are all the billions of others on our planet. Accepting reality, making peace with it and counting blessings daily is the only way I can suggest to deal with it in a non-spiritual way. May you receive understanding and peace in your hearts!