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My Mom has LBD & tested positive for Alzheimer's plaque. She doesn't understand why I can't hug her. She wants to get out & doesn't remember why she can't. I'm her only child & family and to hear her tears on the phone is getting to be to much... I understand the reason but what other safety measures can be put in place????

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There really is no way right now. They let her leave the NH and come out to see you, there is no telling that YOU aren't carrying COVID 19---or any one of the people who see you and want to see their loved ones.

If she has Alz--everyday is a 'new day' so that should be of some comfort to you. She isn't aware of the passing of time. You are the one who needs to be strong right now.

I'm sorry for your sadness--this has been hard on EVERYBODY!
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
Thank you, thank you...
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My LO has just survived Covid19. During her worst week, when we planned for the worst, the thought that tormented me most was the fact that I’d never again be able to hug her and tease her and tell her I loved her and that I’d “drive carefully”- her sign off EVERY TIME we leave her. I’m also her only family here.

I know it will be MONTHS before I get my hug, but feeling much more hopeful now.

There are no safety measures that can protect your mom enough, the way you want her to be protected.

My LO was infected by someone who had NO SYMPTOMS, and was not herself diagnosed until after my LO was tested. There is even a window between when you might have been infected and when the virus will be detectable in your blood.

Although it was not a hug, I felt MUCH better after I was able to Face Time my LO when she was actually quite sick. I was not expecting her to be able to understand a phone call, much less face timing, but she surprised me.

I really get how hard this is, but you need to understand how evil this horrible plague is. EVERY PRECAUTION was taken at my LO’s residence, and yet, this horror got through. I was comforted while she was so sick by knowing that all of her caregivers were dear folks that she’d known for the year since she’s been in her Al.

Hope you and she will be enjoying hugs as soon as it’s safe!
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
Thank you soo much. I know I'm not the only one who misses their LO and I don't want to be selfish or cause harm to anyone else. Its depressing and I was trying to keep Hope Alive that maybe some place have put in other precautions. But the best precaution now is just time & distance.

Again thank you.
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I remember the TV ad which ran as a Public Health Service announcement. Back when AIDS was running thru the population.... it made the point that you can believe you care “clean” and the other person is “clean”, but when you are exposed to someone (passing too close...bumping into you....or you sitting down where someone else was an hour ago) you are not just being exposed to that person...but every one that person was exposed to, and everyone that third person was exposed to...etc. with a 2 week asymptotic period...you could be passing it around right now.

the ad on TV was great and they should be running it again.

a fellow is involved passionately with a woman he has met...and just as they are about to jump into the sack...the voice over reminds him that he is not just going to bed with her, but everyone she has gone to bed with too......all the while rather crusty fellows are coming into the room from the closet, hallway, and crawling out from under the bed. Very funny ad, but made the point.

so, unless you have been in complete isolation or wearing a N95 mask, and full PPE for the last two weeks continuously... you do not KNOW you are free of the virus.

(also, remember, many healthcare professionals are getting sick and they are following protection protocols)
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
Thank you soo much. I guess I was just hoping that someone somewhere had a way to keep our loved ones safe while allowing her the ability to hug my Mom.

Thank you.... And thank you EVERYONE 😢
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Tell her that you DID just hug her when you saw her yesterday;)).
Sending YOU a virtual hug from Denver ;)).
Gretchen
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
😁 I've tried that a couple of times... But she doesn't believe me...
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I know this is not hugging, but if the facility where your mother lives has Zoom and you can download it on your computer you could at least have a virtual face to face visit and she could see your facial expressions and hopefully experience the love you feel for her.
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
Thank you... I will look into that. I was thinking about getting her one of those Grand Pad video chat thingy. But the Zoom might even be safer.
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Cokiehill,when I was listening to the news yesterday, in Ontario, if you take a family out of a care facility they are not allowed back in until Covid is over.

It is heart breaking to be apart from our families during this time. I am in the lucky minority that I care for my infant grandson 2-3 nights a week. So many of my friends are missing their grandchildren. One couple was on holidays from February, when they returned they had to isolate for 14 days before going back to work, essential workers, him military, her food service. They only see their grandbabies via face time.
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I’m feel the same way. My mom is so angry at me. Doesn’t believe I can’t visit. She even reads the paper. Still doesn’t get it. My mom even had the virus but they don’t know anything g about reinfection at this point. 5his needs to end soon.
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Cokiehill Apr 2020
@Val622... It's sooo hard. Mom starts crying (which is my weak point)... She doesn't understand. I truly believe this is for the best... But I will be sooo hurt (I understand this is NOT about just me) if Mom takes another dip in memory and I get lost. I'm her 1 & only and I'm not ready for her NOT to recognize me...
Thanks Val622 for sharing... God bless... Keep in touch, please...1Love
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