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My mother has lost 95% of her short term memory; her long time memory is pretty good. She has developed severe incontinence, she sleeps a lot and tires very quickly. No mood swings and she has lost interest in many activities and is content to just sit and stare. We have gotten an aide each day to help get Mom ready for the day (1 1/2 hrs per day). Mom is 90 and my Dad is 92 and helping some, but he is not capable of doing much because he has mobility and processing issues himself.

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Dick, what real difference would it make?

Has your mom been seen by a geriatrician or neurologist and had a workup which ruled out treatable things like Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus and various vitamin or endocrine deficiencies?

Treating dementia, it seems to me, is mostly a matter of treating the "treatable" symptoms ( anxiety, depression, agitation, paranoia) and giving the primary caregiver support and respite.
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Always have any change in mental or physical condition checked out by the doctor when it happens. It's dangerous to assume what's going on. It may be something treatable.
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Dick, it may be time to “treat the symptoms” as Barb said. Time to make plans for the near future. If Dad is still able to mentally, if you don’t already have POA, file for it now at least for him. Make sure you know what their End of Life wishes are and where the wills are. Kindly and lovingly explain to Dad that it’s time for him and Mom to go someplace where they can do a good job of keeping them safe and looking after them. And then start looking.

It’s not easy, but I think it’s time.
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How do you know that she has some form of dementia? As BarbB points out, there can be other reasons for changed behavior, so I hope she has had or will have a medical evaluation.

But if it is dementia, does it really matter what kind it is? If you knew it was Vascular Dementia or Lewy Body Dementia or Alzheimer's Disease would that make a difference in how you help her or how you cope with it?
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Like said, it doesn't really matter since both run pretty much run the same course. Dementia can be caused by a brain injury, smoking, drinking....Alzhemiers is in the Dementia family but the brain is effected in a different way.
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Has there been any change or improvement in your mom's tiredness?
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Yes, my brother has POA, their funeral plans have long been made, we have possession of their wills, etc...In fact both have decided to leave their bodies for science through a local major university. They both feel good about doing that.
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My Mom's tiredness seems to be growing more and more. Now after exercising (in a video class) she gets pretty tired and just wants to sit on her couch....where she might sit for a few hours. Dementia is really draining her stamina for sure.
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BarbBrooklyn, I will have to get a reading of her Oxygen level. I know she gets her blood pressure taken on most Wednesdays by a retired RN who comes into her facility. Thanks, a good suggestion.
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Shakingdustoff, I know for sure that there will never be an autopsy performed after my mother's passing. Thank-you for sharing your experiences.
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