I know I am riding this horse to death but I feel like somebody out there is bound to know how to help me.

worriedinCalli

NO I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE AUTHORITY. I could go on and on …. I could care less about anybody being on my side. It's not about me it is about my BIL.

worriedinCalli

I do not have to have any authority. My husband is the next of kin. He (and his wife) do have the authority to speak on BIL behalf when it comes to his best interest. Besides, it has nothing to do with why we can not get BIL closer to home. Thank you for your response.

It is your right to remove your loved one from one facility and place him in another, correct? All of the residents of memory care have some sort of "behavioral issues" because their brains are broken. That's why they're in memory care to begin with. What sort of behavioral issues is BIL having......the details are missing. Make a stink. Tell the administrator you will be calling every day to hear updates about what progress has been made to transfer BIL. In other words, Make a pest of yourself. Call the closer MC to see what leg work YOU have to do to get this transfer to happen. Look into other facilities which are not corporate owned. I had to get my parents out of Brookdale which is corporate owned because the place was going downhill weekly while the costs were skyrocketing monthly. I NEVER ONCE received a correct bill from them and spent hours on the phone month after month trying to sort out their incompetence. The ED never gave me a straight answer either, which infuriated me. So I finally looked around and found a privately owned ALF and Memory Care which is heads above Brookdale. I've never once received an incorrect bill in over 4 years. The ED is responsive and involved. Night and day difference.
When mother was in a dreadful rehab, I made a big fuss and got her out of there after finding a much better place. My point is, don't be Mrs Nice Guy. Fight for what you want and know your rights. I am unfamiliar with your story so forgive me if I'm missing some important piece of info I'm unaware of.
Wishing you the very best of luck

It is sounding like this administrator wants to keep a patient with NO FAMILY coming often to make problems and with a certain cash flow. So, yeah, why would she want to give him up. I couldn't agree more with SweetStuff. Go to the administrator of the facility that is closer. Maybe you can cause a food fight with them.

Hi Hailey. Have you tried to speak to the administrator at the facility’s closer to you? Maybe bring your bil’s records for their review? Do you or your husband have POA for his health care? Is so you have that right. If it was me, I’d push to see proof of these behavioral issues. This is sad. You just want him closer so you can visit. Good luck.

Hailey,

You sound like a wonderful advocate. Your tenacity is going to pay off. Just wait and see. It will work out. Hugs! You have been through an awful lot. I’m so sorry that you and your family have had to endure this heartache.

Haileybug,
This has been going on since Dec. 2016?
Maybe you are making progress now, but it is slow.

I don't know if this will work, but call, or appear at the facility you want your BIL to be at, and arrange his transfer there. Tell them, how could Corporate object, he is already in a similarly owned facility.

Maybe, write to Corporate. Do not accuse them of anything, instead just push for family is closer.

One would think that if your BIL is such a behavior problem, why would the current administrator want to keep him so bad by being uncooperative?

I know that I cannot help you, but I wish for you the best.

HaileyBug;

I think that you are going to have to ask for a care meeting (which you can attend by phone with your husband).

You need to ask for specifics about BIL's behavioral issues.

You need to ask what treatments have been tried and if those treatments have worked at all.

You need to make sure that the mental health professional who is treating your BIL is at least on the phone at this meeting to make recommendations for treatment and what KIND of placement he needs.

You need to point out that if he is moved closer to you and your DH, you will be able to visit more often and be more involved with BIL's care (IF that is what you are going to do).

You need to ask if getting him placed in a secure psychiatric hospital for a trial of different meds is a possibility and if perhaps that kind of psych placement is what he actually needs.

I don't think you can expect any facility administrator to give up a paying client and facilitate their move, especially when a lot of them get paid based on sales and occupancy. If you want this to happen you need to do the leg work.

I am not sure that I understand this "Why would I want her to do that"? Her who? I am confused. I am familiar with your issues, I agree something is not right.