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He is 94. Sleeps most of the day, eats a fraction of what he used to eat, but still insists on going with me on outings even though he finds them confusing and tiring. I’m willing to take each day as it comes, but wondering when it’s time to ask for additional help.

I am VERY PRO Hospice.
My opinion is that the sooner you call in Hospice the better.
The improved attention, the improved care from the Nurse, the CNA and the rest of the Team is immeasurable.
After my Husband broke his hip I happened to be passing by a Hospice and I stopped in to ask questions. I spoke with a Nurse, she asked me who my Husbands doctor was, she had me fill out some papers while she made a few phone calls. She came back and said after talking to his doctor he was approved for Hospice. He died almost 3 years later all the while on Hospice.
So...yes the standard is 6 months or fewer BUT as long as there is a documented decline that meets Medicare standards a person can be recertified and remain on Hospice.
So
Make the call to Hospice. If your LO does not meet the criteria for Hospice Palliative Care is an option and in many cases the Palliative Care Team will let you know when Hospice criteria has been met and the transition to Hospice would be easy.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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At 94, hospice might consider him within 6 months of death. Someone that age with those symptoms could very well be dying. Ask for a hospice consult. They'll evaluate him and let you know if he qualifies. Also, the rule about 6 months till death - not necessarily a strict rule. My husband and his friends in memory care are all on hospice. It's been explained that a diagnosis of dementia, which is a terminal disease, and an observable steady decline in health qualifies them.
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Reply to Fawnby
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My 90 year old mother was placed on hospice a little over a month ago. They consider her an early admit. She's frail, disabled, and a wheelchair user but has no obvious end-of-life symptoms. Our Palliative Care team suggested it to me. I didn't know she would qualify. She will have to be re-certified every 6 months.
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Reply to shininglight71
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Read this excellent article once @ https://www.mylifechoice.org/blog/understanding-end-of-life-signs-recognizing-symptoms-6-months-before-death.
Explains a lot of changes in the last months of life.
Let me know if you cannot find I will post few important points.
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Reply to Evamar
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atagirl Sep 23, 2025
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Please, if you bring Hospice in have another set of ears there when he is admitted. We have so many posts where people have no idea how it all works. He will be taken off any life sustaining medications. There will be no more doctor or hospital visits. You will be sole caregiver. An aide will come 2 or 3x a week to bathe him. If you need more time than an hour, you may need to ask prior for more time to run errands or just get away. The nurse comes maybe 1x a week. You will be trained on how to use the morphine, which is used for pain and ease in breathing. They may give you anxiety meds too. Read the info they give to you. Ask the Nurse questions. And know when his time comes the body shuts down. They loose the ability to swallow, no food or water will be continued because the body is shutting down. Hospice is end of life care.

We have people coming on here crying that Hospice hastened a LOs death. And what they complain about is part of the process. Your nurse should be available 24/7 by phone. She orders any equipment needed, meds and Depends, wipes ect. If you don't care for a certain nurse or aide, you can call the agency and ask for replacements. If you don't like the Hospice, you can fire them and hire another. And remember, they are coming into your home. We had a OP complain about a Nurse who seemed to take over. They are there to guide you thru. If you feel they are overstepping you have a right to complain.

My Dad had hospice in the home. They were good to him and Mom. His last day was Thanksgiving and his family was there. He could not talk but he ate his dinner and watched Football with my brothers. Sometime during the night he passed. Mom called the Nurse about 8am. She was there finishing up what she needed to when .I got there and then called the funeral home who was out in no time, but then they were just down the street. Equipment was picked up the next day.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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This is a determination made by the doctor, and it truly does come down in most cases to their best guess. Often people on Hospice care don't pass away in that 6 months, but are reinstated. Many things will requalify the person. Even weight loss is a consideration. Speak with the MD about this.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Fawnby Sep 18, 2025
My mother was in and out of hospice for 2.5 years! They'd show up for an evaluation (of a woman who hadn't spoken in months). They'd speak to her: "Merry Christmas!" for example. One time she said Merry Christmas back to them, and they kicked her off hospice. Out goes the hospital bed, the Hoyer, the oxygen, the meds in the fridge, and we had to replace such things. Then she'd go back to not talking and we'd ask for another evaluation, and back on she goes. Then off again. Once it was explained that they wanted to get some who didn't really need hospice off the rolls. She had private caregivers at home, but #%@!?! With my dad, it was an entirely different kind of experience.
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You can request an assessment, they will ask you many questions, get his medical history and do a medical assessment and determine if they believe he qualifies for hospice care. Once on hospice care the focus goes from trying to “cure” to comforting measures as life expectancy decreases. My moms hospice team worked with me in the beginning when it came to the meds I gave her vs what the give (which is usually comforting meds (pain management, secretion management and agitation management) She has recently declined even more and we have switched gears from the regular meds(meds for blood pressure, seizures, insomnia) to just the meds for comfort. Idk if all care teams are the same but they didn’t pressure me to take her off her meds as soon as she went into hospice care. You can also decide at any time (once using hospice care) that hey we aren’t ready for this and take him off hospice care and back to regularly dr visits. But once hospice steps in, there care team is primary. You call them first with any concerns and ask as many questions as needed. My moms hospice team currently consist of a nurse, chaplain, aide, massage therapist and social worker. Music therapy and pt were also optional. Hope this helps🙏
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Reply to Hardjourney
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Not sure who told you the wrong information about Hospice Care? You are recommended to put your loved one in Hospice Care that has a chronic condition and is inoperable based on their diagnoses from a doctor. You yourself may suggest it. A person can live in Hospice Care for years. There are evaluations that determine if Hospice Care is no longer needed too.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Don't wait. Be proactive. Get his doctor on board . Hospice will evaluate and if eligible, use all of the services provided. You still will manage day to day care, but the support given by hospice is immeasurable....nurses, CNA's, chaplain, touch therapist, music therapist, social worker, all there to help.
Hire a caregiver occasionally if you need a break....and you will need a break.
Respite care was available that hospice pays for.

Our mother was in hospice 4 years. The first months, we didn't think she had months to live. Our family gave 24 hour care and it was her strong will to live, our incredible family and the hospice care that kept her with us. She was reevaluated every 90 days.
Our mom recently passed at 97 and the support of the hospice staff has been a blessing.
Wishing you the best!
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Reply to Momto3
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You don't. Only a doctor does.
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