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He is 94. Sleeps most of the day, eats a fraction of what he used to eat, but still insists on going with me on outings even though he finds them confusing and tiring. I’m willing to take each day as it comes, but wondering when it’s time to ask for additional help.

I am VERY PRO Hospice.
My opinion is that the sooner you call in Hospice the better.
The improved attention, the improved care from the Nurse, the CNA and the rest of the Team is immeasurable.
After my Husband broke his hip I happened to be passing by a Hospice and I stopped in to ask questions. I spoke with a Nurse, she asked me who my Husbands doctor was, she had me fill out some papers while she made a few phone calls. She came back and said after talking to his doctor he was approved for Hospice. He died almost 3 years later all the while on Hospice.
So...yes the standard is 6 months or fewer BUT as long as there is a documented decline that meets Medicare standards a person can be recertified and remain on Hospice.
So
Make the call to Hospice. If your LO does not meet the criteria for Hospice Palliative Care is an option and in many cases the Palliative Care Team will let you know when Hospice criteria has been met and the transition to Hospice would be easy.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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At 94, hospice might consider him within 6 months of death. Someone that age with those symptoms could very well be dying. Ask for a hospice consult. They'll evaluate him and let you know if he qualifies. Also, the rule about 6 months till death - not necessarily a strict rule. My husband and his friends in memory care are all on hospice. It's been explained that a diagnosis of dementia, which is a terminal disease, and an observable steady decline in health qualifies them.
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Reply to Fawnby
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My 90 year old mother was placed on hospice a little over a month ago. They consider her an early admit. She's frail, disabled, and a wheelchair user but has no obvious end-of-life symptoms. Our Palliative Care team suggested it to me. I didn't know she would qualify. She will have to be re-certified every 6 months.
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Reply to shininglight71
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Read this excellent article once @ https://www.mylifechoice.org/blog/understanding-end-of-life-signs-recognizing-symptoms-6-months-before-death.
Explains a lot of changes in the last months of life.
Let me know if you cannot find I will post few important points.
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Reply to Evamar
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atagirl Sep 23, 2025
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Please, if you bring Hospice in have another set of ears there when he is admitted. We have so many posts where people have no idea how it all works. He will be taken off any life sustaining medications. There will be no more doctor or hospital visits. You will be sole caregiver. An aide will come 2 or 3x a week to bathe him. If you need more time than an hour, you may need to ask prior for more time to run errands or just get away. The nurse comes maybe 1x a week. You will be trained on how to use the morphine, which is used for pain and ease in breathing. They may give you anxiety meds too. Read the info they give to you. Ask the Nurse questions. And know when his time comes the body shuts down. They loose the ability to swallow, no food or water will be continued because the body is shutting down. Hospice is end of life care.

We have people coming on here crying that Hospice hastened a LOs death. And what they complain about is part of the process. Your nurse should be available 24/7 by phone. She orders any equipment needed, meds and Depends, wipes ect. If you don't care for a certain nurse or aide, you can call the agency and ask for replacements. If you don't like the Hospice, you can fire them and hire another. And remember, they are coming into your home. We had a OP complain about a Nurse who seemed to take over. They are there to guide you thru. If you feel they are overstepping you have a right to complain.

My Dad had hospice in the home. They were good to him and Mom. His last day was Thanksgiving and his family was there. He could not talk but he ate his dinner and watched Football with my brothers. Sometime during the night he passed. Mom called the Nurse about 8am. She was there finishing up what she needed to when .I got there and then called the funeral home who was out in no time, but then they were just down the street. Equipment was picked up the next day.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Don't wait. Be proactive. Get his doctor on board . Hospice will evaluate and if eligible, use all of the services provided. You still will manage day to day care, but the support given by hospice is immeasurable....nurses, CNA's, chaplain, touch therapist, music therapist, social worker, all there to help.
Hire a caregiver occasionally if you need a break....and you will need a break.
Respite care was available that hospice pays for.

Our mother was in hospice 4 years. The first months, we didn't think she had months to live. Our family gave 24 hour care and it was her strong will to live, our incredible family and the hospice care that kept her with us. She was reevaluated every 90 days.
Our mom recently passed at 97 and the support of the hospice staff has been a blessing.
Wishing you the best!
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Reply to Momto3
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My mama was 88, had been diagnosed with alz in 2013. She lived with me for past 10 years. The last months she was eating less, losing weight, etc. No actual physical diagnosis, but she was in pain, and I was exhausted. I called our dr, we had same pcp, and said I needed help, I couldn't go on much more on my own. He was well aware of her condition. She was on hospice within days, only a month before she died. I never had to deal much with hospice, aside from basic paperwork when social worker initially showed up. Sometimes I wish I had called sooner. They are there for the family as well as patient. Call his pcp. Sorry to hear about your situation. Get help when you can, sooner rather than later. And do know that if you have doubts or reservations about anything, let hospice know. I had to change aides twice. Prayers for you both. Glad you reached out here. Very caring and loving group here. They have helped me a lot. God bless.
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Reply to Tiredandalone
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Brandee again--I picked up the phone and called hospice directly. They sent an RN out to the house to do the evaluation.
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Reply to brandee
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You can call a Hospice provider and they will do an evaluation to determine if he qualifies. Of course, you have no way of knowing when a person has only 6 months to live. Hospice can be renewed if the person continues to deteriorate.
If his condition improves, then Hospice may terminate their services, but can re-evaluate again at a later time.
I recently did this for my husband. It provides more services for him and more help for me. He seems to be pretty stable for now, but I'm going to accept the extra help from Hospice for as long as they will provide it.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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We self referred to hospice twice (doctor did not make the referral.) Hospice sent an RN out to evaluate and pulled Mom's records from her PCP.

I called hospice when Mom became bedbound, eating very little and did not speak. She was in hospice for 18 months.
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Reply to brandee
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