My Dad is at Palliative care level I've come realize. No way we can do hospice. A caregiver is required 24/7. Family is responsible for caregiving at home. Like turning my Dad if he gets bedridden. Diaper changing in bed. Giving my Father by mouth, sublingual meds. Never call 911. Even if he falls and is screaming in pain. I call hospice and they assess. Well who is picking up Dad (230lbs rt now) from floor if he falls from meds reaction? I can't. Im 5'3 and 122lbs. Mom def can't.
At end it will need a 24/7 caregiver. I would have to move in with parents on a couch. I have a back prob and hip prob. Pain. I have a husband and 2 sons at home also. I just didn't realize, I guess how much care it will be if he stays at home. Dad hates nursing homes. Then towards end will be on strict schedule of meds every 4 hrs then prob 2 hrs so I will need to be there 24/7. They don't have enough money to hire a caregiver at this point. Hospice only provides equipment and bath aides and meds. The rest is up to family.
They may not be there when Dad passes or is near death. I'm not saying it beneath me to care for him. I physically can't. I just don't know what to do now. He is sorta Palliative care but it's new in my town and only one agency does it. No bath aides. No team. Just Dr an N.P. we do all caregiving on Palliative. I already load pills. Appts. Groceries. Rx's pickup. Keep up with health info and appts. Spend night occasionally to give Mom a break and sleep all night. Dad is able to change depends. But it's his symptoms that are out of control. Pain not controlled at this point. Non-compliant. We have gave up arguing with him about don't drink this or eat that. Congestive heart failure is main issue with diabetes. And pain issues and sleep disorder now taking over where he is in bed most of time but has periods of being normal acting. And talking like he use to. No dementia. He just doesn't want to comply with Dr orders to keep " symptoms" of non-compliance at bay. But after todays visit with Hospice, Dad not there totally and if he has no caregiver to handle his 230 lbs body on chging depends. Helping to bathroom as he becomes weaker. He could fall. Who would pick him up? And I'd call hospice not 911. And he is laying there screaming in pain? I don't even know what to do.
They are getting low in acct and if no hospice and we leave him alone and let him do whatever, there will be a 911 call and ambulance to hospital. Keep 3 midnights then wear? Does Medicare pay for only 20 days in rehab (he is not a rehab candidate) or will they pay anything for going straight to Nursing home side? And I have to make sure NH accepts Medicaid. And then what to do with Mom. She could live alone and takes care of herself pretty well or live with me (very cramped. Would have to sleep with me an not much of her stuff would even fit in our bedroom) or live in another city 1 hr an 20 min away with my sister. They have a extra bedroom actually 2. How to separate their money so Mom not destitute? She gets 900$ SS. Dad gets more 1200$ mnth. I dont want all money (35,000$ left) going to his NH bill an she is screwed. I just dont know what to do. I will be going over Sept 5th every day 3x a day to give insulin shots. Caregiver we hired has to go now. Too much. 1500$ a month. And thats only 9-1pm M-F. She is doing laundry. Cleaning. Trash. Chging beds. Dad bath on Mon an Mom too. Mom bath on Wed an Fri. Then Fri we pay a bath aid who loves my Dad 15$ a bath to bathe him. So will lose all that as of Aug 31st! Except that Fri bath for Dad. I cannot bathe him. He is too big and heavy and I have back pain and bad hip. My sister should come every other weekend I hope. I spoke to Hospice because Dad has declined in last 3 months. Won'tget up for shots. So worried about low blood sugar if he doesn't go eat after shot. Sometimes not taking meds cause won't get up. Sleep deprivation is another prob. He feeds himself. And walks around but can't let go of walker or will fall. He just fell, 30th. Over water! I don't know.