I just need someone to say I'm not going crazy...

I think I can help, here.

Even if you were right now rolling around on the ground guffawing like a hysterical buffalo, I would still not agree that you were crazy.

I am gobsmacked that anyone has the gall to expect you to expose yourself to further accusations and heartbreak in order to save other people money and trouble.

Maintain social contact with your mother in ways that completely insulate you from any conceivable suspicion - visit her in the presence of the guardian, send her cards and flowers, whatever is a nice thing to do that can't possibly open up more cans of worms.

And maybe later, when this phase of your mother's dementia has passed, in the fullness of time; if there are other ways you can help you can reconsider on an ad hoc basis whether you want to. But now? As things are?

They have got to be kidding.

Um, for $28K a month you get the taj mahal of memory care/snf. You just tell that guardian that placing mom in a beautiful facility would certainly save some money, especially when that house that needs so much upkeep gets sold.

And that is an option that the guardian can implement for their ward’s benefit.

:D

Oh, my! Dear StoneMan, in my opinion you would have to be crazy as a loon to ever step foot back in that house under ant circumstances, even with a witness. If something "turned up missing," it may be said that you and your witness were in on the theft together. I agree with others here who suggest that you send your LO the occasional flower, card, gift, box of candy, singing telegram, teddy bear or whatever, but save yourself and your sanity by doing it all from a distance. Once bitten, twice shy, right? Being alone in that house at night is nuts, a trap. I wouldn't do it, and I'm betting you are *not* crazy enough to do it. Your instincts are good, trust them! 😉

No you aren’t crazy at all. The guardian is barking up the wrong tree in my opinion. What would be crazy would be for you to step back in to the picture and assume these duties. I wouldn’t even worry about a lawsuit or accusations, your mom has clearly been deemed incompetent since she has a guardian. Plus there has to be PROOF of wrong doing.

You're being taken advantage of. You are not crazy.

Who is the temporary guardian?

I read your past posts, and you and your wife did way too much for this woman (and your wife stayed at the house for 15 hours at a time to take care of her???).

Tell the guardian NO to "taking a night shift" to save your mother money. Don't wade back into the muck!

Now that I have picked my jaw off the ground, I would say that your sister and mom's guardian are crazy and have lost their minds completely to think you would put yourself in danger again.

They have told you what they feel by threatening you with a lawsuit, believe them and run, don't walk the other way.

Send mom cards and little gifts of love but only visit when you know you can not be falsely accused. We live in a society that accusations ruin lives, don't let yourself be another victim to this psychosis.

No, you are not crazy. You are protecting yourself. Keep your distance, Let your sis , the lawyer and the temp guardian figure things out without your involvement. Staying out of this toxic mess is your best decision. Good luck.

I read ur last post from April 2018. At that time you were POA. You don't have to answer but why is a tempory guardian involved, because of Moms accusations that you were stealing? If so, then he/she has a lot of nerve asking you to do night shift. Tell her its OK with you that all Moms money is used up for her care. That sister seems to worry about "Moms money" so ask her to spend the night. Tell the guardian to hire someone to "fix things" That under the circumstances you think she/he has a lot of nerve asking. That Mom needs to be in an AL ( probably would cost the same as 24/7 care in the home) then the house can be sold for her care. No taxes insurance or upkeep. That you will not be entering Moms house without having an impartial witness there with you. That you put in 18 months caring for her (wife spending 15 hrs a day there) only to be accused by Mom and Sis of stealing. No sorry, not that stupid. Please, don't take the bait, no good deed goes unpunished. You really don't need the stress of waiting for the "ball to drop" and it will. Your sister will find something.

After reading every response on this thread....PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITUATION!!!!! Why would you even consider going back to that place?? Please consider your sister and so-called guardian are up to whats best for them, not your mother and certainly not you! Tell them under NO circumstances will you do anything more.....as others have said, and im sure u love your mom, love her from afar!! Please dont put yourself or your wife thru anymore drama concerning your mom....love and blessings to you!!