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As of a few months ago she is 100% incontinent and I still have her walk to the bathroom which is in the bedroom to clean her up. It's easier to do it there. A few weeks ago she stopped standing back up off the toilet so I struggle to lift her. She is about 235lbs and 5'2. Yesterday she almost fell on the way back. Like she just is giving up. And today I could barely get her to stand side the bed with a Walker. It seems like bathroom trips will be hazardous. I have been caring for her 5 years now. I use prevail pullups. Seems these wont be an option any more if she can't stand. Any advice please? There's no book for this. Struggling with next steps. Also not understanding why she would stop walking. She doesn't speak much anymore either. And when she does she tends to ramble. I don't think she is understanding what I am saying much anymore.

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When this happens to mom (and we're approaching it quickly now) we kids have to make a decision about whether we place her in 24/7 or YB installs a Hoyer Lift in her apartment and she goes into a wheelchair for the day.

Not looking forward to this stage AT ALL. She has begun to fall quite often and tries to hide it, but her fall pendant goes off and nobody answers it so the Paramedics have become weekly visitors.

Mom only weighs about 140 lbs, but it's a deadweight. Even with help of YB, I cannot move her. It takes 2 paramedics to get her back up, they told me not to even TRY...

Yes, check for UTI's. Those things can make someone so sick so fast. If it's not that--then it's time to re-evaluate everything.
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Caring4ML
My DH aunt, 95, dementia and totally incontinent was put on hospice more than a year ago. With hospice she has a daily CNA to bathe her and she receives incontinence supplies. Most hospice don’t give you daily cna. Call around.
She also could go to the restroom for changing for a long while and then could not. I think she may have been in pain and unable to tell us. When I would treat her for pain, Advil or other, she seemed to be more willing to get up. She would claim no pain so it was a test more or less to see if she responded better. Please do get a UTI test. It’s amazing how much a person is affected by a UTI.
We started out with Home Health for the homebound through her Medicare insurance and she was deemed eligible for hospice through them. She had been on home health for many years. Just call a hospice company and ask for an evaluation. They are very helpful.
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Caring4ml, as we age, it can become difficult to stand up after sitting. I know for myself [75] if I park myself in front of the computer all day, my knees are not happy campers.

When my elderly Dad had this issue, his caregiver suggested a raised toilet seat with side bars. That helped him big time. The raised toilet seat sits upon the regular toilet seat, and Dad used the side bars to help him stand up.

Now to figure out why mom-in-law has stopped walking. Could be it is too painful on her joints, especially the knees. There are over the counter creams that you can try, check with her doctor first.

Hope the doctors can figure this mystery out.
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She was diagnosed 5 years ago with "dementia" no specific kind. Thank you for the replies. Any advise you may have with incontinent supplies for bedridden mom would help.
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It’s good to rule out other things, such as stroke or some other illness or infection, but it’s not unusual for someone who has dementia to lose the ability to walk or stand. Most residents in MC eventually go into wheelchairs. And many become bedbound. I wouldn’t view it as her refusing to walk or stand. It’s likely not intentional. It may be due to the cognitive decline in the brain. My LO lost that ability pretty quickly and became incontinent. It was much later when she lost the ability to feed herself. Once you confirm what’s causing it, you can consider your options and what level of care she’ll need moving forward.
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Get a medical checkup.

Reduced talking &/or mobility could be stroke... or any other reason.

Is Alzheimer's diagnosed? How many years ago? Alz will eventually degrade the brain's speech & balance ability.

It's ok to get professional help if your MIL's needs have exceeded your physical ability in the home. It's all you can do really.
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Agree with MomHeal. You may want to take her to a hospital. They will fast track her tests. If she is unresponsive and you can’t get to to the car, call 911. They can’t release her if you can no longer take care of her (without help).

Do something before something happens.
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I’m so sorry you are going through this.
My first thought would be to check for a UTI ? UTI can cause sudden decline in speech - cognitive - falls and walking etc.

I would first ask her dr to test for UTI and do bloodwork to rule out imbalance. Sometimes just these small things can cause large declines. 🙏🏼
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