I have power of attorney for my mother. My sister who lives in another state wants me to provide a ledger to her of how I'm spending my mother's social security. Does she have say in how that money is being spent?

It's comforting to know there are many "families" out there that one sibling is left to physically and emotionally take care of everything--yet the other family members want to be "informed and kept up to date" without any inconvenience to their lives. I am grateful I am able to do what I can for my mother, but wish I had some emotional support from my five sisters.

tell her to go pee up a rope.

lovbob

I should clarify. One time my sister gave me a break of either one day or overnight. I can't remember. She was here for Christmas and this was in 2006.

If mom only knew what people really thought of her... O, it's not a pretty thought. Best focus on something more positive. There is life beyond demented and greedy people. I don't want to be swallowed up in the vortex of anger and discouragement.

...or before it's time to divvy up, in our case... Leaches are crawling out of the woodwork, so to speak. Didn't help much before now.

Exactly, deefer. That's true in the case of my sister. Well, to be fair, it fortunately has not come time to divvy up. But, she has not ever given me a break here.

Funny how family is nowhere to be found when you need them, but suddenly become available when it's time to divvy up!

Cheryl, you should definitely be informed about your mother's health. No question about that.

You are under no obligation to report to your sister. I would tell her that it is really a hassle to do paperwork twice. Ask her if she would like the job.

I am one of 6 siblings. One of my brothers became a self appointed caregiver for my mom without our knowledge. Mother is in a state that she no longer remembers what she has signed. Apparently he has full control of everything and refuses to inform us of her financial or health situation. We feel this is our right but now have to go through the legal system to be a part of her care.

Wow. It seems like siblings should be grateful to their brother or sister who are taking care of the elderly relative. But, people get weird when it comes to money.

It really iritates me when a sibling who doesn't provide any care for a parent has something to complaine about . After all you're putting you're own life on hold to care for her.If you were to put her in a home it would be much more expensive and would probably deplete her income. Why should she receive anything you're providing the care.We didn't have to document anything to social security.Good luck.

I have been told it is best to keep receipts for everything and document all spending. If your Mom goes into a home and her cash runs out, they will look back at how her money was spent in the last 3 or more years. If you don't have records, they can come after you for the unaccounted spending, to help pay for her care. Also. it is good to keep the peace with your sister. She could turn on you and make you pay back her half when Mom is gone, if you can't show her how the money was spent.
I have 6 siblings and was left to care for Mom on my own, and do all the bill paying etc. I'm hoping no one comes after me when all is said and done! Good luck.

I take care of my mother also. Have been for years, I am not aware of having to document anything for social security as to where the money is going.
Also, regarding your sister - you have no obligation but in the interest of family harmony - what would it hurt?

You have to account for it to Social Security, don't you? I know I do, annually. Tell her that Social Security has a documented report, and you have no legal obligations to your sister. Bless you for caring for your mom! Sissy live near a lake?