I have power of attorney for my mother. My sister who lives in another state wants me to provide a ledger to her of how I'm spending my mother's social security. Does she have say in how that money is being spent?

While no accounting to your sister for money is reguired, a POA can be audited by the courts for an accounting of how the money was spent. Do yourself a favor and make sure everyone concerned is kept up to date on funds. This is for your protection. If your sister is giving you trouble now, just think what she could do tomorrow.

You are kind to take care of your Mom and even though you would like to tell your sister to take a hike, you shouldn't. In the end, you will have the peace of mind you did the right thing and the money will be all accounted for.

What I did upon becoming POA - was to open a checking account in Mom's name, my name and the names of my two siblings held JOINTLY. They were given the password so they could go online anytime to monitor my expenditures on behalf on Mom.

In 6 yrs of caregiving, neither sibling called or visited their mother, despite repeated invitations, nor did they respond when I sent them word of any major expenditures (new windows, furnance). Even when she was actively dying they did not.

They did come to the funeral, though they did not engage with me past hello, and two weeks later, when I told them (all this via email) how much money was left, they started jumping up and down about why there wasn't MORE.

One refered to a CD he had seen 20 years ago - another asked for a complete accounting of the last 6 yrs of caregiving. I told him - in the most pleasant of ways - to go *&^%% himself. The info has been right there in our joint bank account all along, and I will not spemnd a moment preparing an accounting to them unless ordered by a court to do so. I am ashamed they are related to me.

If you have Durable Power of Atttorney I don't think she has a leg to stand on.
Your mom appointed YOU and your sibs have no business. They are not POA.

If you do want to do a ledger.....put in the debit column about $7,000.00 a month due to you for being her private nurse and nursing home. That will get her going.

As power of attorney you have no obligation to tell your sister what you have done. HOWEVER, she can have you account for your spending. It is your obligation to do the right thing, not her's. Do not listen to those who tell you to basically flip her off. She can come back to haunt you. Good luck

I also am POA and my siblings wanted to see where the money went and put in in their names also. I got a lawyer and he told me it is AGAINST the law to put it in their names, its my Moms money! And no, we do not have to tell them a thing, you are taking care of your Mother with her money and the sibling do not have any rights until your mom passes away. At that time you do have to have an account for all you spent and on what, keep all recipets. We did ours online.

Dag I don't know where to start after reading all these posts I by default have my mom too she's been living with my Aunt and I think my Aunt is tired of her because everyday she calls me needing for me to drop everything and pick my mom up. I work everyday and when that happens I have to take time off until my aunt decides when I can bring her back. My aunt does not live in my same state. I have five other sibling in another state one comes down as much as possible they are all fourteen hours away. One comes down every blue moon, one has asked to keep her but I believe she has some kind of substance abuse problem and the rest don't care. I have looked into personal care homes but I am really starting to feel like I can't go through with it. She's in stage 6 I guess of the disease she forgets who we are but she doesn't say it u can just tell she has a confused face. I just don't know what to do. Any advice and prayer would be helpful.

Any sibling has the right to know accountability for any assets and money. It does not matter who is giving care or driving to doctors etc... It is not up to any one sibling to make these decisions. In my situation my sisters were took control and made all the decisions. They asked after they did things. When asked for statements they accused me of calling them crooks. Well let's put he shoe on the other foot. What's funny is I do not want a dime. Just pictures etc... It is your responsibility to provide accountability for anything.

For your own protection you might want to keep a ledger especially if NH is in the future because medicaide will demand an accounting but otherwise I do not think you need to but if you can show numbers it might be better for you-if you do not want to do it and medicaide is not involves sthem.

well i think its best if you provide sny info csause in the log run you will get bite and i wont be nice, trust me i know

I have POA for my mother. No help from either of my two sisters. I have provided all care for over 3 years. My younger sister wanted to take mother to visit grandchildren. I gave her clothes, meds, and money for mother's trip. Now she won't let my mother come back home. She wants my mother's bank account, and wants me to add her to the POA. My mother calls me and begs to come home. She keeps asking when am I coming to get her. My sister has told me not to trespass on her property ever again. No one is home with my mother all day while they are working but they feel satisfied because they installed a camera (at my mother's expense). My mother has severe Dementia and has fallen a few times lately. Can they take my POA away without me knowing? Can I get my mother back legally?

Bjboom,
no one can appoint a new POA but your mother, it is not transferable. If I were you I would call APS where your mother is residing now, give them the details of your situation and ask that they check on your mother. Make sure they understand that you have POA and are being denied contact and that she is being left unsupervised during the day. You might also want to meet with a lawyer to discuss obtaining guardianship of your mother, hopefully it will not come to that.

bjbloom, they can fool her into signing a POA, without you knowing, but they cannot get guardianship in court if you appear and object to it. Get a lawyer.

Yeah, I told me absent brother to come here. We can sit down, talk about all of it. AND, I would leave him for a couple days and take some much needed time off.

Funny...you know...he isn't returning my calls. Hummmm? Think he doesn't want to see that accounting so much after all?

Bloom, I think your sister's actions might technically be considered illegal since she's holding your mother against her will.

You might be able to get a temporary restraining order forcing your sister to release your mother, return her, and refrain from contacting her. You'd need an attorney for that though.

Call APS and see what they can do. But if your mother has dementia, alert them, as your mother may be afraid or unable to be candid when they investigate.