He's demanding a key so that he can see dad whenever he wishes despite having it explained that any slight change in routine cause confusion and distress. Should I refuse to give in to his demands when i am clear it is not in dads best interest
Do not provide a key for your brother. If your brother wants to visit your Dad then he needs to coordinate the visits at times when you can be there. Your brother possibly has ulterior-motives to want access to your dad and house!
It doesn't matter if he takes you to court or not. Vain threats are vain threats. If he does and becomes the legal guardian of your father, then he makes the decisions but if you have the POA your are the fiduciary and all your actions must be for the benefit of your father...not free access to him by manipulative children.
Not only should you but you are obligated to deny your brother's demands. You should get into his face and let him know how out of line his demands are.
Thank you for your answer he has seen dad about 10 times during first couple of years after not seeing him for 2 years then saw him about 4 times has not seen him at all since pandemic and has not asked too not even through the window know things he can do what he likes said he will take me to court
You don't say if your dad is living with you, or you with him(hopefully he's not living by himself.) If he's living in your house, you don't have to let anyone in that you don't want to, and if you're in dads house, then you must do what's in the best interest of your dad. Have you asked him if he wants to see his son? I can't imagine that he wouldn't, even if your brother hasn't been any help over the years. He is still his son. You can still set the days and time for said visits, according to when dad is more alert and such. Just because you're pissed at your brother because he hasn't helped with dads care, doesn't give you the right to keep him away.(unless there's more to this story than what you're sharing) You need to put your feelings aside, and do what's best for your dad. And no, I wouldn't give him any keys, but I would certainly sit down with your brother and try and work out a visitation schedule.
I realize your brother has been a slacker in not seeing your dad, but what is your concern about him visiting. I'm not saying to give him a key, I wouldn't do that, but what about just visiting your dad in your presence? I don't know if not allowing your brother to visit is in dad's best interest or not. How far along in his dementia is your dad? Is he able to decide for himself if he would like to see his son?
Ignore the lawsuit threat. Attempt to come to an agreement about your brother's right to visit, unless there's some past history of abuse or improper behavior by your brother to your dad.
I hope your Dad is not left alone. He needs someone with him if any slight change causes confusion and stress.
Is this your home? If so you have the right not to give ur brother the key. Tell him to tell you when he will be visiting and you will make sure to open the door for him.
Dads house, why doesn't brother already have a key. Was there a reason Dad didn't want him to have it? That would be a good excuse. As Dads representative you too can't give him something that Dad wouldn't. And I understand why you won't allow brother if his presence upsets Dad but ... u may not have the right to keep brother away. So, let him go to court and let a Judge make a ruling.
A rat who wants free access to something in the house.
No further discussion is necessary, so don't engage and DON'T let your sibling visit unsupervised if you think they have ulterior motives.
Not giving "support" alone is not enough of a reason to shut them out completely. Have they not seen Dad in six years?
If he's living in your house, you don't have to let anyone in that you don't want to, and if you're in dads house, then you must do what's in the best interest of your dad. Have you asked him if he wants to see his son? I can't imagine that he wouldn't, even if your brother hasn't been any help over the years. He is still his son. You can still set the days and time for said visits, according to when dad is more alert and such.
Just because you're pissed at your brother because he hasn't helped with dads care, doesn't give you the right to keep him away.(unless there's more to this story than what you're sharing) You need to put your feelings aside, and do what's best for your dad.
And no, I wouldn't give him any keys, but I would certainly sit down with your brother and try and work out a visitation schedule.
Ignore the lawsuit threat. Attempt to come to an agreement about your brother's right to visit, unless there's some past history of abuse or improper behavior by your brother to your dad.
Is this your home? If so you have the right not to give ur brother the key. Tell him to tell you when he will be visiting and you will make sure to open the door for him.
Dads house, why doesn't brother already have a key. Was there a reason Dad didn't want him to have it? That would be a good excuse. As Dads representative you too can't give him something that Dad wouldn't. And I understand why you won't allow brother if his presence upsets Dad but ... u may not have the right to keep brother away. So, let him go to court and let a Judge make a ruling.
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