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My wife has dementia. For 6 years people didn't believe me. They got her an apartment, and I couldn't stop it, she moved out 3 months ago. 6 weeks ago, she fell and broke her hip and had to go to the hospital then rehab. They wouldn't let me visit her because she was telling them she didn't want me to be there. She is awfully influenced by other people's suggestions. I think that's where this not wanting me to visit came from. She seems very upset when my son asked if I could visit her, I think that she's probably mad because I'm not there to help her and this is where all her anger comes from. The nursing home is not helping, neither is it to the hospital. I read people can become a very fearful when someone they know is not there, maybe that's where this came from? Any thoughts appreciated. The nursing home has been very deceitful and unhelpful with my wife. I went to talk to the social worker one time and instead of talking to her they sent security and told me I had to leave and never could come back

Yes, would be nice if you used punctuation.

Who is incharge of your wife's care? Who has Power of Attorney? Because if she has Dementia, someone has to be her Medical Power of Attorney.

There is a reason you are not being allowed to see her. Do you come off as aggressive when dealing with hospital staff? My Dad was a gruff man and could come off that way. You and son need to sit down and discuss why you cannot see Mom. Even with Dementia if she says no, that needs to be honored by the staff and son. You maybe a trigger. You and son need to sit down and discuss honestly what you are doing wrong for you to feel like the victim here. If you are thought to be a threat to your wife, you can be kept from seeing her.

You have Parkinson's and Dementia goes hand in hand with it, especially Lewy body. Lewy body affects the frontal lobe where emotions are. If you go to a Neurologist, maybe time to talk to him about medication.

I would say at this point, your wife may not be coming home because with your health problems, you can no longer care for her properly.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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She moved out, that was her choice. She got hurt, you're not to blame. She has a mental disorder and she doesn't want you to be there, you can't fix that. Somewhere along the line she became afraid of you and this is all she knows now. If you have power of attorney, you do have a right to see her but if you're being escorted out,it says something else. You've aggravated her condition and why would you want to cause her anymore problems? She's not likely to change the way she feels about you, if she does, she'll let you know.
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Reply to JuliaH
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Please see your own doctor for a complete physical and ask for anxiety meds for yourself. Approaching the situation from a place of calm and goodwill could yield different results.
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Reply to Fawnby
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ThereThere seems to be a Common Thread using police and security to get rid of caregivers this happened several times this is outright abuse it should be dealt with criminally you don't need a piece of paper to do the right thin you asked to see a social worker and you get a security guard and throw you out of the facility you asked to talk to her talk to her and you get the police to throw you out of their office at the hospital I asked to talk to her doctor instead I had the security throw me out of the hospital several times if your trouble with the police in my house I was always treated as a suspect not as a caregiver for some reason this seems to be very very wrong and someone should help me do it do something about it but how do you find a lawyer that's not connected with these people
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Geaton777 Sep 18, 2025
You are reading the reactions as some sort of conspiracy. It is not.

"...you don't need a piece of paper to do the right thing..."

Yes, you do in the U.S. -- it's called the Law. Sometimes it protects people in ways you don't like or agree with. That doesn't make it a conspiracy to "get rid of caregivers."

Your wife could have fallen and broken her hip & hand even in your shared home with you present. It happens all the time. That's what happened to my Aunt: she fell right in her own home in front of a family caregiver. Three times, then the third time she broke her hip.

I know it's distressing to think your own wife doesn't want your help. But if she's getting appropriate care there is at least this consolation. You need to find out if she has a legal guardian and then you'll know if you have any case for guardianship for her with an attorney. FYI it will cost you a lot of money to do this.
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I am so sorry. Without punctuation, I cannot really make out this message well enough to give any meaningful answer.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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What is the solution you wish to see?

Apparently you aren't her PoA or they wouldn't be blocking you. You don't get to have "access" to someone just because they are family members. This is a hard truth that many learn on the journey down cognitive decline and the legal system.

If you want access to your wife, and control over her affairs (like where she lives) then you will have to pursue legal guardianship through the courts. She may already have a legal guardian assigned.

Also, please use punctuation so that your story is more understandable.
I'm so sorry for this distressing situation. Please provide your goal and more information here on this thread.
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john1947 Sep 19, 2025
My goal is to get her out of that incompetent rehab and into a good Hospital She's suffering from withdrawal from oxycodone from unknown pain multiple problems not being addressed a lot of these rehab is more like a hospice they keep people comfortable until the inevitable comes I finally have a doctor of attorney helping me now
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John there is OBVIOUSLY more to this story than what you have shared and I know that you posted on this forum before about your situation.
We on this forum can't really help you when we don't know the WHOLE story. I'm sorry that you're not able to see your wife, but from you have shared it must be for the best.
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