My wife has dementia. For 6 years people didn't believe me. They got her an apartment, and I couldn't stop it, she moved out 3 months ago. 6 weeks ago, she fell and broke her hip and had to go to the hospital then rehab. They wouldn't let me visit her because she was telling them she didn't want me to be there. She is awfully influenced by other people's suggestions. I think that's where this not wanting me to visit came from. She seems very upset when my son asked if I could visit her, I think that she's probably mad because I'm not there to help her and this is where all her anger comes from. The nursing home is not helping, neither is it to the hospital. I read people can become a very fearful when someone they know is not there, maybe that's where this came from? Any thoughts appreciated. The nursing home has been very deceitful and unhelpful with my wife. I went to talk to the social worker one time and instead of talking to her they sent security and told me I had to leave and never could come back
Who is incharge of your wife's care? Who has Power of Attorney? Because if she has Dementia, someone has to be her Medical Power of Attorney.
There is a reason you are not being allowed to see her. Do you come off as aggressive when dealing with hospital staff? My Dad was a gruff man and could come off that way. You and son need to sit down and discuss why you cannot see Mom. Even with Dementia if she says no, that needs to be honored by the staff and son. You maybe a trigger. You and son need to sit down and discuss honestly what you are doing wrong for you to feel like the victim here. If you are thought to be a threat to your wife, you can be kept from seeing her.
You have Parkinson's and Dementia goes hand in hand with it, especially Lewy body. Lewy body affects the frontal lobe where emotions are. If you go to a Neurologist, maybe time to talk to him about medication.
I would say at this point, your wife may not be coming home because with your health problems, you can no longer care for her properly.
"...you don't need a piece of paper to do the right thing..."
Yes, you do in the U.S. -- it's called the Law. Sometimes it protects people in ways you don't like or agree with. That doesn't make it a conspiracy to "get rid of caregivers."
Your wife could have fallen and broken her hip & hand even in your shared home with you present. It happens all the time. That's what happened to my Aunt: she fell right in her own home in front of a family caregiver. Three times, then the third time she broke her hip.
I know it's distressing to think your own wife doesn't want your help. But if she's getting appropriate care there is at least this consolation. You need to find out if she has a legal guardian and then you'll know if you have any case for guardianship for her with an attorney. FYI it will cost you a lot of money to do this.
Apparently you aren't her PoA or they wouldn't be blocking you. You don't get to have "access" to someone just because they are family members. This is a hard truth that many learn on the journey down cognitive decline and the legal system.
If you want access to your wife, and control over her affairs (like where she lives) then you will have to pursue legal guardianship through the courts. She may already have a legal guardian assigned.
Also, please use punctuation so that your story is more understandable.
I'm so sorry for this distressing situation. Please provide your goal and more information here on this thread.
We on this forum can't really help you when we don't know the WHOLE story. I'm sorry that you're not able to see your wife, but from you have shared it must be for the best.