I have a quick question and someday soon I will update you on what has been happening.

Hothouseflower - I've been putting my foot down recently and just saying I can't and say I miss you, but I just can't do that. Your explanation helped me!

i hope your parents didn't meet those total strangers. please stop them from doing so. i hope your parents didn't tell them their address. it's very dangerous. the strangers could be anyone, criminals; and if they know the address, they now know 2 vulnerable, elderly people live in X.

Hi Everyone, hoping you are all doing ok. I have a question. I have told you about my abusive, homeless brother who just got out of a psychiatric hospital and is now living in a residence hall. He called me a few months ago, after not calling me for over 3 years. He said he would call back with a phone number - this was a few months ago. Well, he called me tonight, but I do not want to get involved with my brother, but on the other hand, I feel bad to not contact him. I still fear that he will ask for money or threaten us. I have PTSD from him and will be seeing a therapist soon. My 92 year old mom, who you all are familiar with, asked me to find out where he is. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I know this is not a question about caregiving, but I feel close to everyone on this blog and love them dearly. Max

Do not contact your brother and do not put your parents in contact with him and vice versa. Block the number.

Great advice! He always found a way to disrupt our lives, for instance calling us knowing it's Friday night when my husband and I are eating dinner and watching a movie. Never fails - he did that to everyone in his family. It's not that he's innocent about that - it's on purpose. My mom will feel sorry if she ever speaks to him - he'll torture them again. Love you - Max

Safety First.

BLOCK his calls.

If you decide you want to RECEIVE his calls to ascertain the safety level required, SCREEN all his calls eg Don't ever answer. Ensure they ALL go to message. Listen to 1 or 2 to judge his intentions. Notice how you feel when you hear his voice. Use that to guide you.

If you decide you do want a two-way conversation - speak to your therapist about this: why, pros & cons, your personal safety. Also the very real danger of using you to get to your folks & potential for elder financial abuse.

Tread slowly & very very carefully.

Max,

I wrote a response under your question. Sending many hugs your way!