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I am primary caregiver. No help from siblings. Stress on marriage. My husband helps when he is able but travels with work. We never have privacy, time alone or outside of our house. Feels like we are prisoners. She falls often so I worry constantly. 911 sends out hep but it’s so scary.


I love my mom. Want to take care of her but am so tired. Have been doing this for decades. She is 93. My husband and I are 63. We never get to visit our own children. They come occasionally to see us when possible.


Tough situation. Trying to figure out what is best.

It sounds as though you aren’t very clear about the differences between types of care. It would be good if you could visit at least one of each, so that you can see for yourself what happens. Could you find someone to sit with your mother so that you can get out to do that? Another way to start would be to find out the names of some of the local facilities and visit their websites on the net. And for background information, use this site. If you click on ‘care topics’ at the top right hand side of this screen, it will drop down an alphabetic list of topics, with articles about them and also posts from forum members in answer to questions and discussions. You can look up each type of facility and service. There is a lot to find out, and from the sound of it you really need to get started. Best wishes.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Your primary responsibility is to your own family. Has mom's doc suggested/recommended a nursing home? Palliative, meds will be reduced. Hospice, would have to evaluate her for eligibility.

Sounds like you should definitely consider another living situation for mom. You need to take care of yourself and life too.

Which is better? I don't know it is a very individualized decision made with doctor. It depends.
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Reply to gladimhere
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