My friend is only 62 years old. She has had several issues for the past 3 years. Numerous back surgeries and hospital stays. It's of course very complicated. She evidently started drinking a lot after the surgeries and has been diagnosed with Wernike"s disease. I noticed a few years ago that she would ask the same question several times when I saw her. She was just not herself and sometimes would be hostile and agitated. Really too much to go into. While in the hospital last year it was found that she has a mass in her breast and it is cancer. The oncologist is reccommending chemo treatments in hopes of shrinking the tumor and then possibly surgery. She is in a memory care now and all she wants at this point is to go home. She doesn't understand that that is not possible. She doesn't realize she has a mental problem. My concern is that she would not sit still long enough to have the chemo treatments. I don't know that much about them, but have heard they can last for hours. There is no way she would sit for that long . Has anyone ever had a situation like this before?
I appreciate any input from anyone at this point. I know just being her friend is all I can do at this point. Guess I just needed to ask for anyone's ideas??
Your friend's POA should speak with her Oncologist and Neurologist to discuss the best treatment option, which may be hospice at this point.
Wishing you all the best of luck with a sad situation.
I just read up on Wernicke's and it's treatable, but doesn't seem to have a lot of success...
Chemo treatments can last for hours--a few of mine went over 6 hrs. And I wasn't up walking around at all. Just sitting there.
Chemo definitely left me with 'chemo brain fog', which 2+ years after the fact is still something of an issue. I am aware of my cognitive losses and it's not fun. It doesn't appear that I am ever going to be as 'sharp' as I was before cancer.
You're her friend, not family, so I don't know how much a dr would talk to you about her. IF she is able to name you as a person of 'care' then they could.
At some point, for all of us, we have to look at quality of life, not quantity-b/c if your 'quantity' is going to be spent sick and miserable...is it worth it? This is something only she can answer.
Such a sad situation! If she has family, I would talk to them, if you feel comfortable in doing so. She does need an advocate, for sure.
You are kind and caring. I hope she will allow you to help her.