My husband and I had a meeting with palliative care today. My husband said he wanted to be resustated if his heart stopped. My moms comment was so cruel I could not believe it. She said that is stupid...why are you doing this he is dying.
I can understand why you felt so hurt by your Mom's comment. However, your anger and forgiveness will only make your life harder. Perhaps you need to find a more compassionate support person or group. Forgive your Mom and if possible avoid her and any other people that upset you.
You are going through a very difficult situation. If your husband has end stage care and discussing palliative care, deciding whether or not to take heroic measures IS a valid question and both answers, yes or no, are valid answers. I'm sorry that your mom's comment hurt you but please don't waste your energy being mad at her. You and your husband make your choices and don't worry about what she or anyone else has to say about them.
Your mother may have been thinking that dying immediately the heart stops would be a good way to go. She was probably thinking about her own situation, not about your husband’s. Try to forget her comment. You and your husband know that your mother’s situation at age 96 is very different from your husband. He has cancer in a good mind and body, and the potential for more time that matters to him. Your mother is just waiting for (and worrying about?) the end. Your little family group needs all the love you can manage. Best wishes.
Sometimes we just need to vent. I understand.
Mom no longer lives with u, right?