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No money was exchanged. But there is about $400 in a trust the funeral home has. Can they charge me to make these changes? Most of my family and friends have passed, my children are mad at me for wanting to change my plans, no they don't visit me much anymore. I'm 77, and of sound mind.

"Can they charge me to make these changes?" is what I clued into. Since most likely, $400 is not going to cover a funeral, then your answer would be a yes.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Ummmm....lonelyperson, I think you can probably change your plans with the funeral home. However, at some point the funeral home is going to expect payment for whatever they provide; and the $400 that you have set aside is not going to cover much. If you have an estate, like money in the bank, equity in your home, valuable personal property, life insurance, whatever, then the cost of your funeral would need to be paid by your executor or personal representative from the estate's assets.
This might present a problem with the funeral home, because they often expect payment up front before services are performed.
If you pre-plan an expensive funeral, say $15,000, and no one has access to your funds immediately at your death and if none of your family wants to pay for it before the estate can be opened, your plans may not be viable.
You might be able to make the funeral home beneficiary of a life insurance policy or perhaps "pay on death" of a bank account. Whatever, since your family seems adverse to your desires, you should discuss this with the funeral director.
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Reply to Agingmyself
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Funerals are for the living, not for the dead.
Heard that somewhere and always liked it. I prepaid Moms funeral. It was so nice that everything was already planned. I can't imagine what change u want to make that children would not speak to you. Again, I read somewhere not to tell family what is in ur will. That way they can be mad at you after you die. Guess that goes for ur funeral too. Me, I don't want an open casket. My girls think I am weird. My husband wants to be cremated. Since he is doesn't attend church, I told him I am having no service. I will just have a luncheon at the golfclub for his fellow golfers. Just found out a fellow classmate passed back in Nov. She wanted no service and no obituary. So, the traditional funeral is going by the wayside. People are doing what they want not what is expected. No, I don't think the director will charge you for changes. Explain, though, that ur children r not happy about your decision and there r to be no changes on their part.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Of course you can! I changed my mother’s pre plan to graveside & changed to less expensive casket....& a couple of other things to save $$$...I figure she rather spend her $$ on a vacation while alive or Broadway shows!!!The funeral home was more than accommodating
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Reply to CaregiverL
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Lonelyperson, I'm sorry you've lost a lot of friends and family, that sucks. Also sucks your children are giving you any grief over any of your plans. Its your gig, you can do whatever you like. I would presume any changes made to these arrangements should be cleared and at no cost to you with the funeral home, unless those changes would require an up-charge. (I changed my pre-plan with ours & there was no additional fee to me)
Every situation is different though but a phone call to them should provide some ease for your unanswered questions.
Please excuse, but with Cetude's comment above I'd like to second their piece on
"You give homage to a person when they are alive..." How I wish Mom's family could have gotten that part of the equation.
I have found that "family" thankfully does not have to mean blood relative.
Take care, Lonelyperson and everyone.
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Reply to SadiePi
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I wouldn't discuss it with my children.
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Reply to DafnaS
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You have to contact the funeral home as none of us can comment on their rules/regulations and whatever contractual agreement you may have signed. If you did sign one, read it. Good Luck
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Reply to commutergirl
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I plan to give my body to medical science when I die because when a person dies, they are gone. I think funerals are ridiculous and a big rip off. You give homage to a person when they are alive--not when they are rotting away. Giving your body to science will teach future surgeons how to perform operations and tissue samples can be extracted to advance medicine. The remains will be cremated for free including transportation, and returned to the family (if any)--it's all free.
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Reply to cetude
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I would say "NO" if it is a reputable Funeral Home. People revise their plans all the time.
Lately, more and more wish to have a tree planted in their memory, using their own ashes.

I am doing this with my DH and only hope that when my time comes, someone will assist me in what I would prefer for myself.
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Reply to RayLinStephens
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lonelyperson, best way to find out is to call the funeral home. Since these plans are pre-plans and not currently being implemented, I can't see why the funeral home would object to changing things for future funeral.

It is ridiculous that your grown children are are mad at you for making any changes. It will be YOUR funeral, not theirs.
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Reply to freqflyer
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