I feel uncomfortable about my Health-Aide who helps me with taking a shower. What should I do?

Why can't you use a shower chair and a lot of grab bars. You should be able to do the shower yourself, and just have the aide outside the bathroom door which you can call or holler out when you need help with something. My best friend had a stroke and he can shower himself perfectly well with a shower chair and grab bars, and his condition is a lot worse than yours.

Lots of reasonable responses here, but you are the EMPLOYER or paying for this one way or another. You are allowed to have your feelings and be uncomfortable AND to request another aide. Routine or not, having someone assist with a task we have learned to do privately on our own is demeaning in a way. Ask for another aide, a male if it makes you more comfortable, and ask for the person to be near by but not in the bathroom, if that will work for you. ALso think the ideas about grab bars, shower chair, or covering up one way or another are good. And not to be a bad influence....but my mother with dementia has not showered in over 3 years. We have tried every idea. But guess what? She's still alive and the world has not come to an end.

As caregiver to my 59y/o hubby for the last almost 8 years, I would say the same thing his IHSS rep told my hubby and me.."You (the one receiving the care) are the boss!" And she made sure I heard her too. You are the boss of your aid. Whatever helps your dignity is what matters. You don't feel comfortable with her bathing you, say so, she'll understand. If you want a male to bathe you, say so. If you want to do it yourself, say so. If you want her/him outside while you bathe/shower, say so. The aid is your employee. Not the other way around. Have a happy day!

Your question reminds me of the first shower my father had after his stroke. He couldn't get over the fact this woman he had never seen before came into his room and whisked him off to a shower. It all happened so fast, he didn't have time to think about it. I think he was in awe of her. I was grateful. Good practice for later years when he had to have help to pee into a bottle in the hospital and needed help wiping after toileting in long term care. But he was always clean and grateful for the help. My mother used to say that after having a baby, she had no modesty left.

Maybe you would be more comfortable with a male aide. Talk to the agency she works for and request a male aide. It's totally understandable why you would be uncomfortable with a woman helping you shower in your home. It's different in a clinical setting like a hospital or nursing home. I've been a CNA for a long time and have helped more men and women shower than I can remember. If I needed such help, I certainly would request a woman to help me. It's not personal. Explain this to your aide's agency.

Imho, you should request a male bath assistant.

I would request a male.

Haven't read thru these, but my own mother was embarrassed with me helping her bathe. So her aide did it. Everyone has a right to their own comfort level. I think my own husband would be the same way.

I'm not sure if you mean you are physically uncomfortable standing, due to your hip, or if you are uncomfortable with the new experience of someone bathing you.
If you aren't comfortable standing there are already lots of suggestions about shower seats and benches that should help you feel more comfortable and secure.
If you feel odd having someone bathe you please let me assure you a professional aide does this all the time! They are used to helping strangers bathe and should be able to do it efficiently and protecting your privacy/modesty.
I had an experience a few years ago that drove this home to me. I work as a companion aide through an agency. I am not supposed to do any kind of hands-on personal care at all, and quite frankly, I don't want to! I am simply a companion.
One day my 90 year old dementia client had been in the bathroom a very long time, always saying he was ok when I called in to him. Finally I asked if I could enter and he said yes, but was ashamed because he had had a bowel accident. His own efforts at cleaning up only made things worse, and I had no choice but to step in and help.
My first thought was OMG! My second thought was OK, we gotta get this done. I put on gloves and did what I had to do, not thinking about how awful it was, no thought about seeing my client half naked or touching him while getting him clean. Purely business.
When I was all done and he was clean (as well as the bathroom) and in clean clothes it fully struck me what I had done. And I was more convinced than ever that I want to stay on the companion end of the work, not personal care, but if push came to shove I could get through it! And my calm professionalism helped him get through it too.
So, don't be uncomfortable! It's all in a days work for your aide.
Best of luck to you.

I suggest you get a shower chair instead of standing during your shower for safety.
If you are still uncomfortable with the caregiver dismiss her and get a replacement.

You are still young and probably not used to having someone assist you with something so personal.  I would probably feel the same way if I had a male helping me bathe or go to the bathroom.  The problem with your situation is that there are not very many male home health aides. 

Some of the other posters suggested getting a shower chair and I think that's a good idea.  You could also get one of those things that Velcro's around your waist and have that on as you are entering the shower and existing the shower so that your privates are covered when she is assisting you in and out.

Hopefully you can get that hip replacement soon so you can get back to taking care of yourself.  You've still got some good years ahead of you!

Take care.

there are 'shower chairs'..you can buy on Amazon. I bought one for my grandfather, also a shower attachment that is removable..and a solid handle on the sides of shower/tub so he had help himself up & down to the chair. (I had a handyman install..only a few minutes & a few dollars. ) Now Grandfather can sit and shower himself. Thyme tea will ease the hip pain. And massage some thyme ointment into lower spine & hip area after showers. In addition 3 tumeric capsules before your meals 3 times daily..These will greatly reduce the hip problem if followed faithfully 6 days each week. rest 1 day...repeat.