Im 23 years old and I have been looking after my grandmother for the past 5 years (taking her to her Dr. appointments, medications, and basic home care). She is still able to get around and do home chores, but the past few weeks, myself and a few family members have noticed a decline in her mental health. She has five grown children and it seems that only two of them have taken an interest into her physical and mental wellbeing. Two of her daughters only seem to care about her when she's in the hospital. I am afraid of losing my grandmother (mentally and physically), and I feel these past few weeks have thrown my mental health into a tail spin. I'm angry at so many people because I feel that they have abandoned me in looking after her and my sister for running away to live in another state. I personally feel that taking care of my grandma is my responsbility since I've lived with her for the last 12 years, but I'm afraid that I'm losing my mind.
What should I do?
Am I being selfish for feeling this way?
You are too young to carry this burden. I am amazed at the grandchildren that show up on this forum. It blows my mind.
It is completely evident that you love your grandmother but you are going way beyond what should be done by a grandchild.
Contact others to help, her children and perhaps a social worker to help you plan her care.
Don’t ask your family for help. Tell them that you are no longer going to be the primary caregiver for your grandmother. It simply isn’t your responsibility. Place the ball in their court.
Best wishes to you.
Where is your mother or the son/daughter of your grandmother? Why isn't that person responsible for his or her mother's care and/or her placement in a senior living residence?
My grandmother lived in my home for 25 years while I was growing up; from before I was born until I moved out/got kicked out at 18. I was never responsible for her in any way; my mother was, since that was HER mother who she had invited there to begin with.
I think you need to take your OWN mental and physical health into consideration now, especially if grandma is developing dementia/Alzheimer's. Let me tell you, that affliction is THE worst thing on earth to deal with at home, and you'll need nerves of steel and then some to even consider doing it.
Let your family know that you are officially resigning from the role of being care taker to grandma & it's time for one of THEM to step up. You love her and you love them, but enough is enough. It's time for you to move OUT and get your own place, free and clear of everything and everybody. That is how life is supposed to work. If you're thinking or being told otherwise, you're being sold a pig in a poke.
Wishing you the best of luck standing up for YOUR rights now! You deserve to!
It’s very tiring trying to balance; my work life, physical and mental health, & then worrying whether my my grandma is gonna make it.