I feel like I’m being taken advantage of because my mother didn’t think about transportation to the places she needs to go. Any suggestions?

Why put all the blame on mom? Did YOU raise the issue of transportation before moving?

This is so ironically funny LOL. Some here push for seniors (even though she is not one), to give up the car and driving, so the senior does, many reluctantly.

When the senior wants to go somewhere, then the complaining about having time to take the senior where he or she wants to go, like they are a bother.

It's no wonder so many seniors "fight" tooth and nail to keep driving and their car.

Start saying no, maybe just to 1 or 2 things first and see what happens. Sounds like its already taking a toll on you, quite understandably. During lockdown I did my parents shopping each wk (was no easy task as my mum kept chopping and changing her mind for her shopping list -one week I got 14 different msgs about her week's shop!!) and when I realised they could switch to online shopping (for a while there were no slots) they didn't seem to want to. Why would they ...I was taking care of it. I hinted twice...nothing changed. I then sent them the link and firmly yet politely told them I wouldn't be doing it anymore. It worked. Much harder for you as you live with your mum. If I lived with my mum I think I would need medication. Start saying no, its the only way. Best of luck!

Could she not ride with someone from work? Need to set boundries. You have to say No, can't do it today. I took my Mom once a week to do banking and shopping and run errands. Had her make a list of what she needed grocery wise and anything else she needed. (I worked pt at the time) Anything I did in between, I did in my time.

I agree, Mom should be paying for gas and part of the rental.

cocoflow

Look for your area agency on aging office online. Each county is supported by one. They may have a transportation service or know of available ones in your area. There are generally volunteers who work at these offices who can be very helpful for seniors. Some are better supported than others but it is a place to start.

Perhaps it would be helpful to give mom a block of time that works with your schedule when you will be available and of course, she must pay for any car rental she needs.

If mom is able to drive, why isn’t she renting the car? How are you taking her back and forth to work? Do you work or does mom? Your bio says mom is 53?? sorry for so many questions.

It may be that time in moms life that she needs to realize that she needs more help than you alone can provide. Give us a bit more information for better answers.

Your mother is 53 years old, according to your profile. Why did you move in with her to a place that has no public transportation? How did you think she would get around if not for you? Did you not have a conversation about this very thing before you decided to move in together? I'm not trying to be snide here, just honestly asking what you were thinking; you say the woman hasn't driven for 10+ years, so what'd you think was going to happen??? Uber or Lyft comes to mind, but if you live out in a rural area, those resources might not be available either, and it'll be YOU giving mom rides to where she needs to go. Living 18-22 minutes away from everywhere means you're far away and an Uber will cost real $$$$, if it's even available.

If there are 'resources' available in terms of picking up and dropping off a person who's 53 years old and perfectly capable of driving herself, I don't know of it. Senior services don't begin until 65 and even then, those types of services are few and far between too!

She moved in with you precisely so she could have YOU be her default future in terms of using you for EVERYTHING she needs in life. If you don't figure out a way to get out of this 'situation' you've gotten yourself into, welcome to your new LIFE for the next God knows how many years! Scary prospect isn't it?

Good luck.

She can take uber or lyft to where she needs to go. Basically she moved somewhere that has no easy access to places or walkability.

If she is renting she should consider moving again once the lease is up.

You can also limit being her driver to one day a week. She can do grocery deliveries too.

Maybe independent living is not for her since she us clearly not independent.

She has to be flexible and open to other options. Whether paying to go places or moving again.

No one can take advantage of you without your permission. This seems like a temporary situation, until you find your own place. Assuming when that happens your mom will have to find her own transportation. If I were in your shoes I would offer her transportation when it works for you. If you have plans your plans come first. She can arrange her own transportation or wait til it is convenient for you. And reimburse you for her part of gas, rental, etc. Since she's eventually going to need her own transportation, now is the time for her to get that sorted. It seems she may be putting that off because she is relying on you for that. I can't speak to what transportation services are available in your area, but mom can do some checking on that, maybe something like an Uber in the meantime.