Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
It sounds like YOU need respite care and dad needs Memory Care Assisted Living or the equivalent. If you have POA and dad has a diagnosis of dementia, you can place him in respite care for a short term break or permanently, if he's no longer safe to live alone. Consult an elder care attorney for options, or call around to the various Memory Care Assisted Living facilities to find out availability and cost, which dad would pay. Stop trying to convince him of anything. Logic and reasoning no longer exist for elders with dementia.
You cannot convince anyone of anything in life. That's a good lesson to get as early as you are able. One way, however, that you can take care of things is: 1. Take care of YOU. 2. That means you set limits on what you will do, and provide your father with phone numbers for area agencies and care.com for extra help you may need. 3. If your father has DEMENTIA, it is even less likely you can convince him of anything or get him to cooperate. 4. You cannot take care of an uncooperative senior. 5. Call APS and ask them to do a wellness check and intervention if needed. Tell them that you cannot function to help your father, and if they agree that he is in NEED of help you would like them to begin state guardianship for him. 6. Understand that when/if the state takes over you will not have input into placement or management of his finances, and neither will he. Let him know that now.
No one, and certainly no members of a forum located in dots all over the USA and not a few countries, can manage your health care, mental AND physical for you. YOU have to do that. If you find that you cannot manage, and have honestly tried hard to do this, then see a good cognitive therapist to help you plan a way forward for yourself.
Part of all of this is what the good old Serenity Prayer teaches us. Some things can be fixed, but many cannot, and we need to develop the wisdom to know which are which. I truly wish you the very best. Change is hard work, and it is FRIGHTENING, because no matter how bad things get, it is a comfort that they are a sort of "normal" in our lives. Change is scary. Pat yourself on the back as you work for your freedom and happiness. It's truly tough, but so rewarding.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The "appropriate" time is now.
You can call APS (Adult Protective Services)"
They will come out to you.
You can pack the two of you into the car and show up at the E.R. (An emergency room.)
You can call anyone just to come over, now. Go from there.
It depends upon you.
--You can STOP. Just stop trying to get your Father to change anything. STOP.
End that conversation. Sit down in another room, or go home.
Talk to someone. You can call the Nurse help line at your insurance company.
Best of luck to you.
One way, however, that you can take care of things is:
1. Take care of YOU.
2. That means you set limits on what you will do, and provide your father with phone numbers for area agencies and care.com for extra help you may need.
3. If your father has DEMENTIA, it is even less likely you can convince him of anything or get him to cooperate.
4. You cannot take care of an uncooperative senior.
5. Call APS and ask them to do a wellness check and intervention if needed. Tell them that you cannot function to help your father, and if they agree that he is in NEED of help you would like them to begin state guardianship for him.
6. Understand that when/if the state takes over you will not have input into placement or management of his finances, and neither will he. Let him know that now.
No one, and certainly no members of a forum located in dots all over the USA and not a few countries, can manage your health care, mental AND physical for you. YOU have to do that. If you find that you cannot manage, and have honestly tried hard to do this, then see a good cognitive therapist to help you plan a way forward for yourself.
Part of all of this is what the good old Serenity Prayer teaches us. Some things can be fixed, but many cannot, and we need to develop the wisdom to know which are which.
I truly wish you the very best. Change is hard work, and it is FRIGHTENING, because no matter how bad things get, it is a comfort that they are a sort of "normal" in our lives. Change is scary. Pat yourself on the back as you work for your freedom and happiness. It's truly tough, but so rewarding.