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My mother is in so much pain most of the time. She's sad, can barely walk, doesn't feel like she has anything to live for. I'm gone from 9-5 during the week but sometimes I can come home for lunch or if she has an appt. My siblings and their kids never come to see her. I thought I could take care of her in her later years and she'd be able to do all the things she could never do when she was younger and enjoy her life. I tried to get a couple of her sisters more involved with her a while ago and that....made matters worse. She only leaves the house to go to the doctor or if I get her to come to the store with me after work. The doctors aren't helpful. I don't know how I could live with it if this is how she dies.

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Violet, how old is your Mom?

Cause at a certain point no matter what you in your good heart tries to do to help your Mom, or anyone tries with any parent they get to a point where they've had enough of the pain, the boredom, the lack of their spry bodies and young minds and they just wither away.

I knocked myself out with my Mom trying to get her to want to do things and eventually she just wanted to leave her old, tired body behind and go to heaven. She was a true believer and I know she is in a better place.

I'm not trying to make you sadder. Just trying to help you realize that eventually you have to just let things be. Trust me, I would have lassoed the moon and brought it to my Mom if I thought that would help.

Keep on being there the best you can, let her know every day you love her and make sure she knows that if she ever shows an interest in doing something or going somewhere that if it's in your power you will arrange it for her. Then be at peace with it.
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What is she in pain from? Arthritis? Cancer? Headaches?

Have you thought of a pain management center?

What meds does she take?
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I'm so sorry, Violet. What a terrible situation. Have you considered hospice/palliative care for your mom? Also, might there be a local service organization or church in your area that offers a friendly visitor program or something like that? I hope others have some ideas for you as well.
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