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I feel quite taken advantage of, she is constantly angry if I dont' jump to her demands, drive her around the clock, refuses to do anything for herself and i have no help. I have spent more money in the past month in hotels and driving around aimlessly to just NOT be home! Please help!

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Send mom on a long vacation, at her expense. She might like a nice cruise.
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For tax purposes, one has to reinvest the gained income after selling a home within a certain time period, or pay capital gains tax. Can she buy a cheaper condo nearby?
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I rehearsed in my mind a few days ago, asking myself, what is the worst thing that can happen if I wasn't there for someone, did not take them to their appointment, and didn't even report that I wouldn't be there, didn't even call to cancel?? And, when they became flipping mad at me for my own lack of responsibility, I imagined, I could answer: "I will treat you like you treat me."
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She does not have dementia, i have asked her doctor numerous times. She is just very angry and has deteriorated fast since my father passed away. I have siblings which are making things very difficult. But after today i am literally at the end of my rope. And she sold her home and came to live with ME.....i am in no way financially dependent on her in any way shape or form.

She sold her home after my father passed away AGAINST mine and everyone elses advice....as she only had a mortgage payment of 800 dollars a MONTH...and told her she will NEVER find anything that cheap EVER. She didn't listen, more stubborn than a child at times. So she sold her home...... went to live with my drug addict of a sister who was spending my mothers money left right and center. So i offered her to come and live with me. Rent free (as i have an extra room) just for her to pay for her own expenses.

I went away to say good bye to my husbands grandparents and had to rush back as my mom had a Dr appointment with the cancer specialist, so we rushed back and i called her to confirm the time at the doctors...... which she did. In the morning i woke up to take her to the Dr's and she said ...."oh i cancelled it, i didn't feel like going." I asked her why she didn't tell me when i called where her response was....you needed to come home anyway! This is ONE of the MANY things that she does to what seems like purposely disrupt my life.

I love her to death, but i can not do this anymore and i feel bad but at the same time, i'm 38 yrs old with 4 kids AND a granddaughter of my own living at home with me.....and can't take the verbal abuse from her. It's one thing to be needy and i'm ok with that, but it's another to be needy and be ignorant, abusive, and ungrateful on top of all that!

I can't throw her on the streets, and i can't forcefully remove her from my home, so i don't know what to do :(
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Do you know if she has dementia? Is she still competent to appoint you as her durable POA and Healthcare POA? Do you want to be appointed? I'd make that decision and then, assuming you have authority to place her somewhere, you can make the decisions on her behalf.

If she has dementia, you can't take her behavior personally. It means the brain is damaged and you can't please her or satisfy her requests. Don't waste your time. Read a lot about the disease so you can better understand how dementia works and progresses. Figure out if that is why she is driving you crazy. If so, you'll have to step up and take action. It doesn't sound like it's a good arrangement right now.

If she is competent and does not have dementia, then send her on her way very politely, but firming and establish your boundaries. If you can't do it, get help from a counselor on how to stand up for yourself and get her life back. If she's competent, maybe she's the one who needs to be in the hotel and not you.
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OverWhelmed, Please listen to timbuktu. Dementia is a slippery slope that sneaks up on you and painfully drains you. If only I'd known.
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If she hasn't actually moved in then stop this arrangement immediately. Has she been assessed for dementia. This sounds like a situation you need to get out of NOW.How much actual care does she need.?Also since you are being looked at as the caregiver I would demand to be made POA,MPOA and DPOA if she refuses really get out of this situation.You can not continue to live life this way, it's not living.Does your mother own the home? If you are financially dependent on the living situaition start saving your nickels and dimes and get the heck out of Dodge.Just need more info into your situation.
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