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My mother lives in S. FL. I came down after leaving NYC, but wasn't planning on staying. Due to a number of falls over the last 8 years I was advised by the social worker at the last rehab two years ago to put her on hospice in our home to keep her safe. She is 97 and has really declined. Seems like the end is near. On top of the dementia, constant shaking (can no longer use walker) and sleeping most of the time. I am exhausted mentally and physically from caregiving, doing this on my own with no family or support. I've asked hospice for advice, researched ALFs, hired an aid who was disrespectful (currently terminated). Don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for reading.

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Has she been assessed for LTC? Maybe try that route instead of hospice. In-home hospice won't give you much relief unless you hire in-home aids or she's transitioned into a hospice facility.

Like has been suggested, it may be fruitful to call 911 . Once there in the hospital she can be transitioned directly into a SNF or other LTC. I know it feels like an overwhelming amount of stressful work right now but once you have a sustainable solution in place, things will finally improve.

FYI my Aunts lived in south FL for decades and were very clean people. It is difficult to keep the roaches and palmetto bugs out of the house... some are bound to get in.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Even a facility where "reviews cited roaches and negligence" would relieve the pressure on you and add an extra level of care, you could spend as much time with her as you do now (all day if you choose) but still have other hands to help with the difficult tasks plus the ability to go home and sleep through the night.
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Reply to cwillie
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(((hugs)))

I am no expert at ALL

imho call an ambulance and take it from there
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Reply to mary543
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I've been thinking about everything. It's hard to do this alone.
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Reply to ExhaustedInFL27
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Do you have a hospice home you could check out? There are also other types of facilities that will work with hospice.
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Reply to JustAnon
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ExhaustedInFL27 10 hours ago
I know they have facilities for respite care that work with hospice. There was only one place that had an empty bed, and the reviews cited roaches and negligence. I'll speak to the nurse again tomorrow.
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Facility care. Sometimes elders get beyond what can be handled by loving hands at home. This is way beyond your pay grade! Let professionals take over, and you rest. You can visit anytime you want. Think about it - why is she more important than you are?
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Reply to Fawnby
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ExhaustedInFL27 10 hours ago
I've been thinking about everything. It's been difficult to do this alone.
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