Follow
Share

My mom is in the hospital she is 71 , her kidney transplant have stop working. She need to start dialysis again.Her body is weak and she as a lot of medical problems. She is going back and forth about start dialysis again. She is an pain ,how do I let her go

Has the doctor suggested that she is going, or that she is now having a failing transplant and will be returning to dialysis?
Is she OK with returning to dialysis? Or does she wish not to take it (I myself, as a retired RN would not do dialysis; I would choose a peaceful right to die by the laws of my state, instead, and my family has long understood this).

This decision is up to mom if she is mentally capable of making it. It is up to you if she cannot. I will only say that dialysis is a difficult way to live with a poor quality of life for some people. They must make their own decisions if they can and we all have that right. If you are in charge of the decision I hope you have discussed with mom when she was capable of discussing this, what she would want.

I am so sorry. This happens. And it sounds as though best medical efforts have been done and you have been afforded some extra time. I am grateful you had that. Again, I am so sorry.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

I am sorry for your grief. I always think crying it out and prayers help me. It also helps to have friends or close family near by. Hope this helps!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to SingleWorried
Report

I’m sorry for your hurt and anticipation of loss to come. Facing such a hard road is tough. Your mother must be so very tired. This is the time to simply hold her hand as often as possible and reassure her of your love and care. One day we all come to a place of having had enough of health issues. I walked it with both my parents and came to better understand it through them. I wish you and mom both peace
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

I'm sorry. No matter a person's age (to me, your mom is still young), it can be very difficult when the person enters hospice care. Please find out whether the hospice provider has a social worker or religious adviser to whom you could talk about your grief.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Rosered6
Report

She has chosen to do hospice, i feel so numb
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Missmary031
Report
LucyImHome Jun 18, 2025
I’m so sorry, Miss Mary. I know you are hurting. I hope you have other family members that you can lean on. There is no easy way to get through this. You love her. It will mean a lot to her that you helped her and cared for her to the end. I pray for your comfort.
(3)
Report
Perhaps it's just time to bring hospice on board and allow your mom to die in peace and comfort and pain free.
It's never easy to let someone go that we love, but it's better than watching them suffer day in and day out.
God bless you.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

If she is weak, won't dialysis make her weaker. Will her system be able to take it? Askher Dr about peritoneal dialysis. Ask if this would help her get over the hump so she can get stronger for regular dialysis. Two of my friends went this way. It is a last ditch effort.

"In the context of peritoneal dialysis, "paraphernalia" refers to the equipment and supplies needed to perform the treatment at home. This includes the dialysis solution (also called dialysate), bags, tubing, and a catheter placed in the abdomen. Proper handling and storage of these items are crucial to prevent infection and ensure effective treatment."
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Sorry speak with her Doctor if you are healthcare proxy - it Maybe time for hospice .
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to KNance72
Report

The decision to start up dialysis should be between your mother and her doctors.

You accept what she decides and advocate for her comfort . That’s how you let go .
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to waytomisery
Report
Missmary031 Jun 18, 2025
She's really out of it
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter