About my Aunt,
She's 88 yrs old.Her desire is to stay living in her own home alone.Her personal hygiene is bad.She uses news papers to urine & poop on like a dog.Uses coffee cans as her tolet can.Her house just smells of urine.She's able to get around using her walker around the house.From what I've seen I feel she is just lazy to go to the bathroom.She can make it to her car outside but,can't seem to make it to her bathroom,humm.Yes she's just lazy.Sounds harsh to say but,I know because,I see it.She has depends but,doesn't ware them.
She has a visiting nurce that comes once a week to take her blood preasure and check her meds.What I find strange is,this nurce doesn't say a word about my Aunt's living conditions or the urine smells in the house.It's bad!..My guess is the nurce enjoys the smell.Seems my Aunt's doctor and visiting nurce is just waiting for me to say the word incompatent.I feel if it was up to them my Aunt will never be told incompatent.I feel if a person can't control/prevent from pooping & unrine on their self.That is incompatent.This goes on everyday.I change her bed sheets everyday.And everyday she dirties them.She dirties her cloths everyday.I wash them everyday.This is becoming a lost cause.I can't keep up with this anymore.She's not my Mother!.if this was my Mother things would be different.I lost my Mother yrs ago..This a Aunt!...She has knowone else but,me to help her.It's not my fault she decided yrs ago not to have children.My Aunt appointed me her DPOA about 3 months ago.I regret taking on this job.I'm not only her DPOA I'm also,her caregiver.At the start I thought how hard could it be taking care of a old lady.O-Boy was I wrong!..
I never realized until now how much money this is costing me out of my own pocket.Just in gas cost to go see her is costing me over $100 per month not including my time that I don't get paid for.My Aunt doesn't offer me a dime for all I do for her.And by rights I shouldn't have to ask for money.You would think she would offer some money out of kindness.Or give a Thank you.But,she don't!..She was always known to be a rich,rude lady thur-out the yrs.She burned her bridges yrs ago with her other family members.Is why she has knowone else but,me to help her.But,from her ungratefulness she's burning her bridges with me now.Other people that meet her.Automaticaly think ah what a sweet old lady.Ya right! only if they knew the truth.After 24 hours they will see the truth.People ask why do i help her?Why?because,if I don't who will that's why!..There's many family members that don't help her and it doesn't bother them not to help her because,they all hate her.My heart is only so big anymore.
I'm not a hateful type of person.I never hated my Aunt.But,after being her caregiver and learning her hatefulness.I'm starting to hate going to see her anymore.Do I hate her? In a way I'm starting to.I'm soon to be a grandfather soon.I would rather spend my time with my family then dealing with a hateful lady.I find It's strange that there's people out their taking care of their loveones and getting paid to do so or reinbursement.But,some how I can't be paid because,I'm her DPOA.This means I must be her caregiver for free.That's wrong!.I found that the only reason people take care of their parents when thay get old is because,of a Will or estate is involved "Money".If no Will or no Money nurcing home they go!.The only reason people become a POA is to get control of money.Sad it is knowing the truth.Sorry for the venting!
Anyway,I'm thinking about giving up helping my Aunt.I just can't keep doing this anymore.She never thanks me for what I do.She only thinks of her self.She wants everything for free.She used her Will as a hook for me to help her.As many old people uses Wills to obtain free help from family members.Truth be told,she don't have much money.She has her house but,if a nurcing home gets involved bye bye to that.
She refuses to go into a nurcing home.What can I do?From what I'm told she is still legally compatent at 88 yrs old.I don't want gaurdenship!
How do I put her into a nurcing home if unwilling?
She refuses to pay a dime for my services I do for her. I saved her tons of money by keeping her out of a nurcing home.If it was me in her shoes?I would be giving money away for all the help and giving money to someone to help keep me out of a nurcing home.I guess she would rather pay a stranger then me.
Any advice please?