I moved my now 93 year old mom across the country to live with my husband and I five years ago. She had been living in her home with my oldest sister since my dad passed away in 2002. I discovered my sister had been draining her bank account for some time. They had gotten into an argument and she called my brother who lived in another state to come and get her. My mom stayed with him for a few months but he apparently got tired of it and called me to say he was moving and couldn't keep her. It fell on me to take over. He never did move. Once she moved here, I spent months trying to straighten up the financial mess my sister had created.
I come from a very dysfunctional family and moved 1500 miles from them when I was 19. I'm now 52. I have built a good life, run my own business, and have been happy. Since moving my mom in, I have been dealing with all the dysfunction and mental illness in my family, including an unhealthy codependent relationship between my mom and the sister who stole from her. My mom insists on sending her money. I refuse, and an argument begins. I'm trying to protect her finances and she fights me over it.
I am now working mostly from home due to Covid. Mom is requiring more monitoring. She left the gas stove on one day. Another day I caught her trying to pry a jar open with a sharp knife. Last week, she tried to trim a toenail and ended up ripping half the nail off and bleeding everywhere. I'm constantly stressed, taking multiple prescriptions for anxiety and depression, and there are days when I don't know how much longer I can do this. I do everything for my mom. I try to protect her and keep her safe. I know it will be dangerous for her to return to her home with my sister who still lives there. My brother has bipolar disorder, is off medication and is no help. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I'm stuck taking care of her while my own health suffers.