Our dad's health has spiraled down rapidly this year with him getting pneumonia and C-diff, He has been in and out of the hospital for the last month and was released to us last Sunday. He is extremely weak and is suffering from C-diff. We both work and were not sure where he should go, we want the best for him and realize we can't give it to him. He has a decent retirement and can afford to be in a home, just not sure which one is best. I feel he will need 24/7 assistance.

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It sounds like you may be thinking that nobody would be able to care for him other than you. There are many places that will provide excellent care but none of them will care him on a one to one basis. He will not be the only resident, there are many others to be taken care of.

It is ok to say you are not able to care for him any longer. His needs are great, he needs care, and it will become more demanding and is a lot to do in your home. Are you saying he went to rehab after the last hospital stay? How long was he there? If he was in rehab it was not long enough.

Hopefully the physical therapy will help with his strength.
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We both accepted this, mainly for him, he caught C-Diff in a nursing facility and the idea of going back to one doesn't sit well with him. We knew his condition, I would visit twice a day, they wanted to discharge a week earlier and I told them they were out of there minds! unfortunately his pension is too good for any social type help. We will have to do our homework and find a good but reasonable place for him if he doesn't improve. He does still have C-diff and we were schooled on care and hygiene. Home care is also a joke, we can monitor his vitals, too bad we can't get paid like they do.
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And which one of you accepted his release to you? Did the pre discharge meeting include his weakness and how much care he would need? Many experienced posters in this forum would have said no so that a nursing home move would occur and the rehab would have taken care of it. If you find yourself in too deep then you will have to get him back to his doctor to determine if assisted or nursing home is best for him. Is he ambulatory to do this? I hope that you requested continuing home services upon discharge.  Does he still have C diff? Were you shown how to clean up and do you have protective clothing?
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Can you bring in a home-nurse, until he is over the c-diff?

When he is over that you can see how strong he is and what activities of daily living he is going to need help with.

You can have a needs assessment done. I'm guessing from your description of his current state he would need a nursing home. But if he regains some of his strength, that could change. Apparently he has been able to be home alone while you work? That might mean he could handle Assisted Living if he recovers close to that level.

But there are people who make these assessments for a living, and the care center you pick out will screen him for appropriateness for their level of care. Don't take our guesses!

How to get a needs assessment? Contact the social worker in the hospital and ask how to go about this. Or contact your Area Agency on Aging. Or your county Human Services Department. One of you should be with him when the interview is scheduled. Sick elders sometimes exaggerate their abilities, and the assessor needs accurate answers. You might have to clarify, "Yes, Dad was able to fix his own lunch until the latest hospitalization."

You are VERY wise to recognize your own limitations, and to attempt to provide him with the best care for his circumstances.
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