I'm at a loss as to what to do,
83y Mom, lives 1000m away, no DX, but plenty of dementia signs...
I thought maybe it would work itself out, her issues would get worse to where intervention was mandatory...
I tried to call but it was difficult to talk with her bc she was always "paying bills", on days she seemed good- I'd gently suggest UTI or nutrition deficiency...
Out of blue she didn't answer calls, my internal alarm went off, I was so worried, had police do welfare check.
Her Neighbors (who I approached last Fall bc I thought they cared, and bc concerned that they convinced my Mom to just give away her minivan among other things, at time they insisted my Mom was fine, and said a bunch more hateful stuff to me & that my Mom wanted nothing to do with me & which my Mom vehemently denied, saying she never ever said that to them- including that she was scared of me bc I tazored her, which later on she stated she was wrong about- that it was my 10y son who did it!) Anyhoo--
Those neighbors said they dropped Mom at PDX, she flew to ATL, picked up by her in-laws there & taken to SC! (Where In-laws live.)
The police informed me of all this, I had already spoken my concerns re neighbors and they were concerned, so actually called to speak with my Mom, who said she was fine.
I immediately called my 81y Aunt who I really have no r/s with bc my Mom kept us cut off from all family and r/s just never developed, wouldn't let me talk to Mom. Said she was in bathroom, etc... I kept calling and always put off.
Finally my Mom answered cell and sounded so flat voiced. Then Aunt took cell, and wouldn't put Mom back on.
Her cell has been turned off since. It's been nearly 1mo. I would call my aunt's house phone and only talk to my aunt, my mom was never available and never called me back and it didn't matter if I wait did she just had another excuse why she couldn't come to the phone. In the last month I have only been able to speak to my Mom 2 times, she sounded completely off each time, and 1st call told me that we "threw her away" and that she was going to sell her house and everything, & move into a nursing home, I reminded her that was always something that she did not want & she started to say something else and the line went dead & when I called back there was no answer.
Again when I called back just got to speak to my aunt, finally this morning I really needed to talk to my mom because at the end of the day she's my mom and I just needed to talk to her and hear her voice! Of course my aunt answer the phone saying that oh my mom couldn't talk because they were late to go shopping, I finally persuaded my aunt to please let me talk to my mom and she gave me the phone & I could hear my aunt whispering to my mom.
I I asked my mom when would she be home and that my now 13y son and I would drive up to her house in July for my birthday and we would stay in the trailer and we would just try and spend time together, I told her if she was worried about anything that I would sign a paper saying that I would not go into her house and try to throw away anyting or throw out any expired or spoiled food, that I would not do anything like that and that if she asked me to do something, that she would put it in writing as well so that later when I did what she asked and she accused me of whatever, she could look and see what she had written, I said I just wanted to spend time with her and that was that.
She she actually acted like it was something she was interested in but said oh that it was way too late to make plans for this weekend, & I said no for my birthday in July, & I can hear my aunt whispering & finally in Mom's mid-sentence my aunt grabbed phone &informed me that she was not letting my mom leave, that they had all sorts of plans incl traveling!! They've already been running around town (COVID19!!!?), Stuff my Mom wouldn't do etc.
I'm worried re my Mom health, safety, and YES concerned in-laws see a big $$grab!!!