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He said it’s in his bones. He is 62, bad serosis, insulin dependent diabetic & has high blood pressure. He said his platlets are low & he's succeptible to infection. He told me & 1 sister that was there. He is estranged from his 3 adult children, but I am in contact (initiated solely by me) with 1 of them. He’s also estranged from other siblings. No real fallouts just not interested in keeping in touch from him or them. Yes family is/has been disfunctional. Do I tell his son? The other siblings? I’m thinking not, phones work both ways. I’ve stayed in touch, I’m sure he could with them & they with him. Since they are dysfunctional I expect blow back for not sharing but since their interest in their own mother/grandmother has been lacking I don’t think I care at this point. I guess I’m wondering if I’m honoring my brothers decision to share or not or just being spiteful. He could’ve told me even in the hopes I would share. He wouldn’t come out & say that though. I guess I’m thinking out loud here but I really hate regrets.

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This site & all of you are a life line. I found you because of mom but there’s so much more here. Thank you for taking the time to be a sounding board, a place to cry & sometimes to just read I’m not alone.
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Reply to Momshelp
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Momshelp,
I think it is a great plan to drive out to your brother's house to get more information and see what he wants.

I wish you all the best. I am sorry that you are going through so much.
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Reply to Shell38314
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Stage 4 prostate cancer combined with his other health conditions does not look good, I imagine he's going to get really sick soon and will need someone to care for him. I don't know what to tell you, your hands are already too full....
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Ok I think I’m going to figure out how to drive out to his place. It’s 1.5 hrs one way, & ask him if he minds I share his condition. Get better details too because he just doesn’t seem to have a grasp on things. I have enough on my plate with mom, my own health problems & I can’t add his health too. He said he didn’t understand the cancer diagnosis the doc was referring to was about him until the doc hugged him. Maybe a quiet face to face without mom(oblivious thankfully) and sis-sis will probably tell everyone anyone. Her nickname growing up was “the times”. Once I have more info, he shared he’s on a once a month shot for 3 months then it’s chemo. Also he said his docs want him to go to a bigger hospital 30 miles from him but he refused. He lives far, alone, getting harder to drive & on a fixed income. I’m thinking I need more info. I’ve just been in shock I guess. Thanks for your opinions I’m agreeing with all of you
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Unless he specifically asked you not to share the info I would. Family crap and who hasn't contacted who aside, this is not a time for all of that. I'm not saying it's your responsibility to mend fences or spread the word but he chose to confide in you and I know if I were in his place, whatever the reasons for the distance, I probably wouldn't tell my estranged family both for fear of rejection and for fear of it seeming like I was just looking for something, kind of like only being in contact for money. But if I were his child, your niece or nephew, I would forever feel cheated or worse guilty about not knowing my father was dying (which is what it sounds like is the most likely outcome) and the same would go for my sibling. You don't have to pass judgment one way or the other, in fact better to say you aren't and they can do what they want with the info but if I were you I would certainly tell my siblings as well as my nieces and nephews. That's just my 2 cents
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Isthisreallyreal, a phone call out of the blue from him to his father would tip off brother I said something. I’m guessing I probably will do that though, maybe in a few weeks. Thank you
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Isthisrealyreal Apr 30, 2019
Yeah, you said call your dad. I would not worry about my brother being upset, I would tell him that his children deserve the right to make things right before he dies. If he gets upset that they contact him, he can tell them to go away.

My sister wouldn't let people near her that she had issues with and I still feel like she cheated them out of saying sorry. Now they can never make it right and I find that sadder than the fact she died at 52.

Just my viewpoint.
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Maybe his past life makes it seem impossible for him to reach out, unless he specifically asked you not to share the information I would tell his son.
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I would tell the one you are in touch with to call dad. Then dad can tell or not.

I am sorry you are going through so much.
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