I can't get my dad to go to the doctor. What do I do?

Yes, call his case worker. So what if dad knows who calls. You are trying to do what is best for him.

My aunts always telling her care takers not to tell me things. It goes with the territory. You have to get him care for the sore. He could lose his leg. It probably needs wound care from a nurse until it gets well if it can get well at this point. Get the case worker involved soon if that's what it takes to get him care.

So I did call his case manager. Our hands are tied. He is of sound mind and can not be forced to the doctor. He has to go once a year to a doctor for check up to keep signed up for his programs. She will talk with him about nurses that can come to the house. But ultimately its up to him. Until his next yearly he can continue to let the wound get worse.

Consider calling 911. The EMTs can at least assess the wound.

See if you can ask open ended questions about what he fears will happen if he goes to the doctor? Why does he think that it would lead to Assisted Living?

Read On Being Mortal by Atul Gawande.

The one thing that works for me, getting mom to go see a doctor, go to the ER, etc., is to beg her to do it for ME. (Actually, everything that I have to push her to do or accept, I have to tell her it's for ME, like home support, or moving closer to me.) I tell her if she doesn't go I will worry non-stop, I will not get any sleep, I will make myself sick from panic and anxiety.  Which is mainly true!

This was a tip given to me by a counselor a few years ago (when I was trying to persuade my mother to make the move here). She said that as a mother, she would want to know if she was making her children's life harder by refusing to do something.  It might work better with mothers than fathers, I don't know! But it's worth a try. Especially if your dad still has his mental capacity.  (Harder once dementia hits - you can't persuade 'em that your pain matters at all at that point.) 

Thanks for the support and answers. He went to the doctor to get a new wheelchair prescription and he was told if you aren't careful you could loose your leg. I told him about the nurse who can come to his house he liked the idea until he thought she might report he doesn't have help. I have told him I want him around. His only solution in his mind is for me to be there all the time like I was when I lived closer. He can't find decent help. If he does he runs them off or makes racist remarks. He won't hire an agency bc he had on before and they screwed him, his words. I want and do help but its not nearly what he needs. It has to be my dads way or no way.