I can't figure out how to look at my MIL!!! What can I do?

I hope MIL has been returned to her home now?

Next, take off your cleaner's uniform & keep it off. Quick change into office wear - as that's your next role. Once you have called APS, her Doctor, Aging crises line etc, take a deep breath. Mentally go over what is in your control & what is not. (MIL's mental health & cognitive state is not).

It sounds like your MIL has some big issues - any or all of mental illness, cognitive or behaviour issues.

You helped her from love/duty/necessity as as immediate response.

If you clean up each time, it will be ongoing, never resolved.

The next help is putting her in touch with professionals to help move her towards what improvement & recovery is possible for her.

Call APS and leave her to rot.

Literally if need be.

It is not safe for you to enter her home in that condition. Drop her off at her old apartment and leave her there.

Don't do another thing for her, except calling adult protective services and asking the landlord and your SIL to do the same.

This situation needs professional intervention

That is the only thing you can do.

Well, you don’t need a doctor to diagnose the hoarding of excrement - that’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Have you ever watched Hoarders? She’s not alone in this obsession.

But OCD is a symptom, not the disease. Something is causing the OCD to happen. I’m unclear as to why you believe her to be faking dementia. I’m not sure why someone would do that. Remember that people can have multiple disorders, and the more disorders they have, the more messed up the person presents themselves. And forgive me, but your MIL is a big hot mess. One in need of sympathy and patience and treatment. More care and patience and treatment than you can give, honey. This will never go away. She will never stop unless she is in a facility that can monitor her daily, and you CARE, we see how you care, and how frustrated you must be cleaning up such filth. I’d be enraged, too.

Just know that she has so much more going on that you think she does. Healthy minded people do not do this.

She had a doctor appointment. I told her I was uncomfortable taking her...fall risk plus threatened me. I gave her a whole list of medical transport...callex none. I have been calling everyone I can think of but she just acts like everything is okay. That is one of the reasons I saved pictures...ugh...

No she doesn't....shes trying to talk him in to letting her stay to be close to the kids...aaaaaahhhh my kids won't go near her

My husband brought her to our home so I could get it cleaned up. I wrote that wrong. Sorry. My first time venting. I have called her docs to no avail. I contacted area on aging she had me call a crisis line but out of area. Waiting on her to call me back... I'm just sick. .. I get she has something going on. My sister in law said she did this before. Home had to be condemned..wtf!!

Her land lord is just a good friend. Plus feeling like I live in her apt. I've been here 6 days cleaning

This kind of behaviour is not normal. How do you think she has been faking? I agree, husband should be handling this. I think she should not be living alone. No, should not live with you, needs a facility.

Ok so your MIL has been 'faking' dementia for 2 years now, but is piling up 30 garbage bags full of poop clothing & diapers & stashing them in her closet which is filled with worms and flies. Plus she won't get up out of her chair to use the toilet. If this isn't dementia, what IS? Who in their right mind behaves in this fashion and doesn't have dementia? I think you are discounting your MIL's health issues, personally, and there's a lot more going on here than you believe there is.

If you threw up before you could finish scoping out the situation, tell your husband to go have a look at his mother's place and figure out what to do. She should not be living alone with dementia and/or under these circumstances; it's too dangerous! Plus, she's likely going to get evicted since the landlord can probably smell the mess going on in her apartment; it's a health code violation what's going on in there.

Funkygrandma has given you other options as well, but I'd see about getting her some medical attention before you do another thing.

Good luck!

Um. This is an emergency situation, which harkens back to what happened with an elderly neighbor 20 years ago. She was about 80, and she had a daughter about 60 living with her. They had running water but at least one wasn't using the toilet. There were five years' worth of fecal, urine, whatever in home depot buckets, and the younger elder almost faced charges.

The paramedics who attended had to go into counseling, guys who had fought fires, done trachs on gunshot victims, delivered live babies, figured out that someone had killed their baby, whatever. Like I said, this is an emergency situation.

Be proactive. Call APS.

Your profile says she lives with you in your home, so your post is confusing to me as you say something about "her landlord" and a "dead body in her apartment."
If in fact she lives by herself, you always have the option of just letting her live in her own filth, and stay away, as it's not your responsibility to care for her, or clean up after her.
You can also report her to APS, and let them take things from there.
And if she does in fact live with you, you need to get her out ASAP. So next time she has a health issue, call 911 and let them take her to the ER, and then let them know that under NO circumstances can she return to your home.
You do have choices, so make sure you're using them.