I cant even leave the room to go to the bathroom without my mother asking me where I am or "are you coming back?" Anyone else?

Her needing to know where you are or when are you returning could be a form of shadowing. Shadowing is actually physically following someone around. To your mom you may be a source of safety, reassurance, her anchor in a haphazard or confusing world. She needs to know you're there for her. Reassure her of your love for her and that she's safe. For you, her behavior may be stifling and stressful. Do you employ any activities that could keep her distracted and not notice your absence? Find a music app on your phone and load it with old songs of her younger years. That may keep her occupied. Do you trust a neighbor to look after her while you seek some refuge? Give that person some verbal reassurances to use that would work when your mom asks for you.

My mom has done this since I was a child. About 3 years ago we went to a family funeral, I was changing my clothes in a spare room when I heard her scream "Where has ____ run off to". I open the door and I'm in funeral clothes. "What were you doing" . "I was changing clothes" "ohhhhhh" When I go to her place and have to go to the bathroom she follows me.

Ugh, yes! My grandmother does this when I head upstairs. She asks me this one a lot. Sometimes I get sarcastic with her and mumble under my breath "No, I'm going to stay upstairs forever and ever!"

So yes, Karen70, I hear you and I get it. This is anxiety (in our elderly loved ones) and after a while, it begins to wear on our nerves as well. Someone suggested upping the anti-anxiety meds and I have to agree, otherwise pretty soon we'll need those meds more than our loved ones! Can't have that happen.

I also recommend getting yourself some respite care, it sounds like this is beginning to get to you- I speak from experience.

Hang in there.

I think it is anxiety. My dad went through this as his dementia worsened. This is going to sound crazy but we got him a stuffed pony - he likes horses. We would kind of come and go and as long as he held his pony - he was comforted. I don't know if anyone else has this experience?

Sounds super anxious.

I agree it's like toddler behaviour - when they like to keep prefered parent in sight. But they slowly get longer memories & gain more trust their parent will return.

When it goes the other way, it gets really hard on the caregiver. Some elders who are mobile actually follow half a step behind their carer all day (shadowing). Yikes.

Activities she can be absorbed & engaged in would be my best suggestion.

(But I know my Mother gets like this & activities don't work for her).

Does humour work? My Son does that to me 😁. Where are you going? Oh, probably running away, might come back next week sometime. (He's a teenager).

Otherwise it's anti-anxiety meds (if appropriate & if they work). For her, not you.
(Maybe headphones for you).

Yes. My mother (97) does that most days, depending on what state of mind she's in. She'll nap and wake up confused, then wander around in a panic calling out 'Where is everybody?' or 'Oh, there you are! I thought I was on my own!' (The house isn't that big, FFS!). And I have to walk past her chair to leave the living room - it's a bit like having to ask a prison warden permission to go to the loo! Really aggravating. I feel for you.

My Mom, in Memory Care now, would panic when I would go into the next room, with the door open.
Since she was on an about 5 minute memory cycle, she absolutely couldn’t remember what I had said, or where I had gone.
It’s a really hard thing. I understand where you’re coming from.

I remember having to tell my dad that my mother was becoming a toddler, and all of a sudden her behaviors became clear to him. A good friend once told me that "we start in diapers, and we end in diapers." He was so correct.