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I’m so tired of cleaning pee and poop. Taking care of my husband 24/7. He’s only 65. Multiple stokes. Can only walk a few steps. Can’t talk well. I am so darn angry. Doing it alone.

Hire help in home or consider placing him in Skilled Nursing with Medicaid funding if necessary. You matter too, my friend.

I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you good luck and Godspeed with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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It is first step for many. Admitting we cannot do it anymore. And placement or other arrangements are necessary.
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Reply to Evamar
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Please consider a facility placement for him so that you can reclaim your life and your health. The resentment and anger don't help him, as well as destroying you, so it will help him as well as you. You deserve calm, rest, health, and peace in your life.
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Reply to MG8522
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If you can't feel comfortable placing him in a skilled facility right now, please please hire some in-home help so that you can take some time to take care of yourself.
Please.
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Reply to Hrmgrandcna
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There is Medicaid. You need to see an Elder Lawyer to have your assets split. Husbands split goes towards his care and when almost gone, you apply for Medicaid. Once a Community Spouse, you remain in the home, get a car and enough or all the monthly income to live on. An Elder Lawyer, well versed in Medicaid law, can give you more info.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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And while you are working with an attorney to find out what works best for you and your family, at least temporarily hire some part-time help to give you a little bit of respite.
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Reply to Hrmgrandcna
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Please take a deep breath. I know it’s hard and your health and happiness matter. Please get him placed or hire in home help. It sounds like he needs placement since 24/7 Home care costs are higher than placement usually, depending on location and if working with an agency. Don’t be mad at him. it’s not his fault he is sick. Go back to square one and get him the help he needs as the loving wife I’m sure you are. You can make it happen.
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Reply to SkyScraper
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Dspoor4 Jan 18, 2026
I know it’s not his fault. I try to remember this. But then something happens (he poops on the floor on his way to the commode, spills coffee all over. You get it) We are on Medicare so I think placement is out of the question. I’m just so angry all of the time. I can’t even breath.
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Why does being on Medicare make it "out of the question to place him"? If there is no money apply for a Medicaid placement. I don't know a lot about Medicaid, but I do know many of the elders who were in care with my mom were on it. They got the smaller rooms, but so what? They got the same care. Please look into it because it is not possible for you to continue this way.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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This must be very hard for you. Before you make the drastic decision to place him in a facility, I’d get some help in for a few hours a day so that you have some time to yourself.

I think it is a given that he will have another stroke and at that point he might need to go into a facility. I would try to keep him home until that happens.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Is your husband using Depends? Do you use covered cups with straws for his beverages to prevent spills? Think through if there is a solution to each specific issue. It would still be best for him to go to a facility, but as you work through that process, some "hacks" might make things a little easier.
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Reply to MG8522
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