Since 2013, my elderly mother has lived with me. She is so negative. She states she never felt so depressed as she does living with me. She says horrible things, yet birthdays and Christmas I get cards saying what a wonderful son I am. She states the food I cook is not edible. I have not had a holiday since 2005. I want to enjoy my final years without being unhappy. I cannot cope, stress, high blood pressure, chest pains and dizziness. I really try my best, but I feel so unhappy. I realise she is not happy either, but I feel so low I don't even think my mum likes me. She won't pay any money on the upkeep of my property (even though she lives there rent free). My garden is a mess. I asked for some money towards a gardener every 2 weeks to cut grass to which she replied, "You got yer own money." I believe I am a caring man, but now feel I am useless.
She says she wants to move out, but she cannot walk, is nearly deaf, won't wear her hearing aids and has very bad eyes. What are her options?
Sorry it's too much, you probably think I am not nice.
Get busy finding another place for mother to reside, you've done enough for a woman whose ungrateful.
You have made a good first step by actually complaining to us. What’s your next step going to be?
She lives rent free and tells you "You got your own money?" Why isn't Mom paying you a dime for living with you? She should have plenty of money saved to move elsewhere, such as a facility. Why does she think life is a free ride? She can't get her own independent apt. in her poor condition! She can't drive, shop, cook, clean or do much of anything, except complain.
Do you realize that 40% of caregivers trapped in caregiving slavery end up dying before the person they are taking care of? The stress becomes unbearable, and causes physical issues to start affecting them.
Stop worrying about your selfish and ungrateful Mom, and find her a place to move her to. She will have to live in a facility (aka the dreaded "Home") to get waited on 24/7. She obviously cannot take care of herself, drive, buy groceries, cook or clean on her own.
Get a Elder Lawyer to get Medi-Caid to afford it, since it won't be free. Mom's free ride is over. Take your life back!
Anyone who treats you like you're garbage needs to go. Your mum has been abusing you, making you feel like a lesser person, withholding money that she should pay for her upkeep, and making you sick. This is how she controls you!
Do you live in the United States? If not (or maybe even if so), I suspect that this is a culture in which filial obligation is key. Please let us know more about the culture in which you were raised. My comments will ensue after I know the situation better.