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She is losing her sight, her hearing, and her mind.

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I can vouch that lying about the insurance piece works. Mom has several doctors and I tell her first it's just a medication check to make sure things are working right, which is not totally a lie, but then I tell her if we don't the insurance will drop her and she can't get her refills. I know that's wrong and felt bad, but I got over it when I had such a hard hard hard time on one of her appointments and I thought I was going to absolutely lose my mind that day. She asks are they taking my BP and I say no though I know they are but she freaks out if I say yes. Lately it goes much better because she wants to keep her insurance and get her refills. Sometimes you gotta do for yourself as much as for them.
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Classic!
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Pam: possibly the wisest comment ever on AC Forum. I have a little "Nerve Tonic" each night after calling my Mom......
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I would take her to lunch and not tell her she has an MD appointment immediately after. I would make sure she had a glass of wine or a frozen strawberry margarita at lunch. I might even have one myself.
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Thanks for the great suggestions. My mom is 80 years old. She currently lives with me. For past 2 years she was living with my daughter in Florida. I live on the West Coast. Prior to living in Florida she lived with me. Her mind has really deteriorated over the past two years. She was becoming a burden on my daughter. Some days for mom are better than others. On the bad days she doesn't know where she is or who we are. She was always very stubborn most of her life and never ever liked doctors. Her stubbornness and dislike for doctors is worse now than ever. If she thinks you are taking her to the doctors she will lock herself up in her room. It's ridiculous! On the times that you can get her to go - she is so mean to the staff - you just want to crawl under a chair in the waiting room and hide.
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Astra, depending on how advanced your Mom's memory issues are, if Mom is still clear minded another therapeutic fib you could use is telling her that her health insurance would be cancelled if she didn't see her doctor once or twice a year, and she wouldn't want to lose that insurance.
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Could you try a therapeutic lie and tell her you're going out to lunch or somewhere else and "Oh we need to stop by the doctor's office on the way" (once you get her in the car)? And then do take her to lunch or out to shop after the doc's visit?

Please tell us more about her...does she live at home? How old is she?

I never tell my mom we're going somewhere, because she'll say she's too tired. So I just show up and say, "OK, we're going to the doctor" or out to lunch or whatever. I help her get dressed and off we go. I basically don't give her a choice. Tell us more about how your mom behaves and you may get some other, better ideas.
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