I became my Dad's caretaker overnight. I am so lonely. Any advice?

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His wife left him and he has MS. I live with him now and my world is so small. I am grateful to be taking care of my father however it has been life changing and at times a crisis. He doesn't get around very well and is going through an extremely painful divorce that I am also helping him with. The circumstances have been devastating and it seems like something bad happens everyday. I am so lonely, so empty and so sad. I am full of fear. I do see a Dr. for medicine but feel I can't get out of this painful rut.

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I hope he can divorce her quickly. She could inherit everything. Good luck to you and your dad. Hopefully, you can get out and get some exercise and sunshine, even if it is just for 10 minutes.
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To jmcolorado, As I do everyday in taking the time to visit this site your story truly stood out for me. When I tell you I understand, I UNDERSTAND!!! First, please stop and breath. I would love to take a moment of your time and talk with you. Their is so much I could share with you to start making this transition better.
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Just remember to do some things in taking care of you. It's like they say on the airplane, take your own breathing mask first before trying to help someone with theirs.

She's falsely accused him of abuse in court and lost, plus has forged his name on a number of things. What grounds does she have for asking for so much? Sounds like she abandoned him and he should divorce her on the grounds of mental cruelty and financial abuse.

Should he eventually go to an assisted living since his mobility is so low?

How are you surviving financially with all of this going on?

Take care and keep in touch. I'm going to take a break.
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Yes, it has been a horrible situation. I am in the process of helping my dad find ways to prosecute her so that she won't get everything. She is asking for so much and she has already taken so much. He has not seen a doctor for his depression, although I am pushing him to do so. I am on different kinds of medication due to my depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms. I try to everything around here that I can because his mobility is not well. He uses a walker. I realize that I have to get back into the "real world" just having a real hard time. I so appreciate your response.
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That is terrible! I'm glad the case was dismissed. She should be charged for something for making such false allegations!

Can her prove the forgery? She should have to go to jail.

Has he seen a doctor for his depression?

The two of you being depressed at the same time and spending all of your time together in isolation from the rest of the world is a very unhealthy mixture.

Keep coming back and venting!
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Thank you so much for responding. It brings tears to my eyes because I am just that sad. My stepmother left my father after 37 years and we have come to find out that she committed forgery and signed his name to documents that leave him financially responsible for all sorts of things. Not to mention, she falsely accused him of domestic violence claiming that he beat her with his cane which resulted in the 2 of us living in a hotel for a month before she left and we could get back in the house. He is disabled and that was truly an ordeal. That case was dismissed. He has never hit anyone. But yes, the pain of his divorce has taken a toll on me. For whatever reason, he is terrified to be alone. I believe that I am here with him by God's will. His MS limits him greatly. I, of course am not working and doing all that he needs done at the time. Unfortunately, his disease is progressive so it is not going to improve. He is 73, and feels depressed and sometimes just completely hopeless. I feel at times, I keep him going. There's much more to the story, but I wanted to respond to say "thank you!" For taking the time to chat with me. It means the world.
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Sorry to hear about your dad's divorce. It is good that he has you there for him.

How old is he and what specifically does he need you to do for him?

Does he have extra money to pay for some extra caregivers so that it does not all fall on you 24/7 which is impossible. People who work in nursing homes and assisted living only work 8 hour shifts.

What are you so full of fear about? Yes, go see a doctor. Some meds should free you up to get out with other people and thus not feel so lonely and so empty. It also sounds like you may be absorbing some of your dad's pain over the divorce. Try to just feel your own emotions without absorbing his.

Call the doctor's office today and make an appointment.

I wish you the best in working through this mess. Do come back and let us know how things are going.
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