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My grandmother over the past 5 years has cut off everyone in my family except my uncle. Which makes since since he is the one who lives by her and is in her ear constantly. She has dementia and he uses that to make sure she stays mad at everyone, regaurdless if it's her reason or his. He has had her phone turned off and took her TV away stating he doesn't want to pay the bill for her to watch judge Judy. He has never really had a job for longer than a year so he lives off of her. He has manipulated her to make sure he's in charge of all of her finances.


I grew up with her practically being my mother. We were always so close. When my grandfather died I was around 7 years old and was left with her to take care of her while her adult children dealt with their grief. We became so close over those years and remained close well into my twentys. Unfortunately I ran into some legal troubles and was out of her life for a good ten years until around 2012. People change a lot in 10 years and I don't know what happened but at some point I became the center of her anger and we no longer talk. I know my uncle and I know he has made things the way they are. My issue is he's not abusing her he's not being mean to her he's taking care of her I just know he's manipulating her and keeping her away from the rest of us especially me because he knows how close we were and I posed a threat to his Financial State. I just want to know if there's anything I can do I called and asked him if I could go visit her, everybody has to call and go through him to have anything to do with her he has cameras all over her house and he keeps her under guard constantly. He told me no she didn't want to see me but I refuse to take that as an answer. A couple of months ago I had my son go visit her just to make sure that she was doing okay that's how I found out about all the cameras and her not having a TV and her not having a phone and that my uncle is keeping it very fresh in her mind why she is supposedly mad at everyone. My son said it was very sad cuz she wants to see all of us but he doesn't allow it and I just want to know what I can do if I have any legal rights to do anyting

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Thank you for answering. I was so unsure if I was even in the right. I wanted an outside opinion. I just feel so helpless and unsure of what to do next. But thanks for the advice.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 3, 2019
You’re welcome. I hope it gets sorted out.
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I totally agree with JoAnn. Why take away her phone or television? Sounds extreme and cruel to me.

She should be be able to visit with others as well. Sounds like a lonely place to be. Very sad. Keep perusing caring about your grandma’s welfare. Sounds like she meant a lot to you in your youth and still does. Don’t give up. Time will tell if you’re fighting a loosing battle later.
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I would cal, APS and tell them she has been left without a phone and her TV. Not having a phone is serious, no way to summon help. Tv is her lifeline to the outside. I consider these necessities.
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