My dear mum is 86 yrs young, has an identical twin approx 50 miles away. My mum continues to drive up there just daring anyone to tell her she cannot. Have had the gentle conversation citing consequences/heartbreak/ liability/injury/death, etc...as well as intermittent discussions/statements. I feel she is ok in close proximity/familiar territory...she does carefully/responsibly schedule her drive time according to traffic & available daylight/weather—unless the twin is in need. I have driven her up recently, then she snuck another trip in from my sisters house [she lives between the two/similar to shared custody & she pretty much gets to hang out wherever she likes unless one of us needs intense/quiet/work time.
My question:
I am accompanying my mum to an eye appt [NEXT WEEK], our 2nd together of recent.
I did not go inside previously due to covid 19 BUT need facetime w/her MD [who treats both twins w/same challenges]. I know HIPPA guidelines & am NOT seeking private info, but rather share info & state clearly whether she is safe 'from the doctor' to drive/back me up @ VERY LEAST! I know this 'dance' all too well, my dear mum likes to give her best 'report' to ALL doctors, I then step outside & wait & 'share'/fill in complete information when necessary [ER/surgery].
Is there something legal the doctor can 'prescribe' such as restricted driving???
My father's estate is about to be distributed...if she hits/hurts/kills someone while driving we could all be wiped out! Those lawsuits are not a pretty industry, a very close friend just happen to bring this up as 4 of us were having a social distance coffee. This happened to her brother-in-law's family...after he snuck the keys out in the rain!
This is a chart explaining each state's vision requirements: http://www.mdsupport.org/library/summarychart.pdf
and another fuller explanation of vision requirements by state:
https://lowvision.preventblindness.org/2003/06/06/state-vision-screening-and-standards-for-license-to-drive/
You have not completed your profile, and other than eyesight, you have not given any health details about Mum.
My Mum has her driver’s physical every 2 years and had cataract surgery a few years ago. Last winder she had an eyelid lift as it was impacting her peripheral vision.
What other than age is a contributing factor to you not wanting Mum to drive?
This time last year Mum and Auntie went on a road trip. They drove a big loop visiting friends and family over 10 days and about 800 Miles.
Just state in the note what you are seeing or your fears, like her driving 50 miles. My Mom and my stubborn Dad saw when they could no longer do distances anymore. Dad would drive alone but if Mom was with him he allowed her. Eventually, it was always her. Just before Mom was told not to drive, she had already was just driving around town. Same with my MIL.
When I DO attend w/my mum, I ALWAYS take our info spiral/notebook-take names, notes, etc...
Not sure where you live but there are Restricted Licenses or Limited Licenses also sometimes called Hardship License. Typically it is for people that have been convicted of DUI (Driving Under the Influence) But I would think that the doctor could put any restriction he or she felt was necessary.
Daytime driving only or no driving in rain or snow and possibly driving only between the hours of 10 AM and 3 PM (hours stricter than daytime only but this would prevent rush hour driving as well.) But it would be something that you would have to discuss with the doctor. OR the other option would be that he says she can no longer drive.