D
Donyah Asked September 2020
I am walking away from my Mom and Dad (both in their 80s). I am in AZ, but am getting the heck out ASAP. Any advice?
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Thinking about you. Hope that you are still continuing to move forward in your life. You deserve peace and joy in your life.
Praise the steps forward,
Thank the broken road.
(A haiku poem by Stephanie Zhong).
We care.
Leaving an abusive situation is a good plan.
So sorry this is happening at all, to you, or anyone.
Do not waste a moment's time blaming yourself.
If you cannot plan for your parent's care to be cared for by professionals prior to you leaving, you can call APS (adult protective services).
Godspeed and traveling mercies, Donyah.
You go.
I cannot be responsible for their choices toward each other.
If I want to help either/both, I need to establish a separate household.
Donyah
Oh, Donyah; I remember this discussion now. There is NO way that you should be involved in hands on caregiving.
I agree that she should NOT be caring for her mom.
I can only say that if the posts below are any indication (when I try to get your old post I just get something that says "oops, we can't post this page right now", so I haven't a clue) then I say RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. In any case where there has been abuse, and it is suggested below that it WAS abuse, I think the best place to be is 3,000 miles away from that person.
We have in the US a system for those without children to help in their care, without resources. Is it a perfect system? Nope. But it is there. Leave them with the phone numbers they will need to access, tell them Goodbye, and go make yourself a happy, quality life of such goodness that no one will ever need to run away from YOU. Good luck.
I entered 'Shame' in the search icon above, then clicked on the closest sounding story, about the third one listed, it was by Donyah.
This is ur July post. So I am assuming you just can't do it. Which is OK. Seems you have some childhood stuff to deal with. Actually, children abused (and it was abuse) by a parent or parents should not be their care givers. You do what you need to do for you.
The main issue is that I cannot control either parent's behavior toward the other.
Donyah
I am focusing on myself. Maybe at some point, I can continue to help either or both of them.
That is for the future to decide.
Donyah
Are they receiving care only from you? If you like, you can contact Council on Aging and she if she qualifies for assistance.
Best wishes to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PYt0SDnrBE
I guess I am looking for any information, at present.
I am dealing with some grief over this. I did not want to separate from them but their arguing got so bad that I told my Dad I would call the police if he hurt her.
There is some history.
Thanks,
D