My 86 year old Mom has a host of medical issues as well as mid stage dementia. The main one right now being Chronic Kidney disease. She has the urge to go pee several times during the night and struggles with constipation as well. I'm deathly afraid that she will fall trying to get to the bathroom at night by herself so I'm sleeping with her to help. However, I cannot stay up all night with her and function during the day too. I'm at the point that I'm exhausted and need an overnight caregiver. Where do I start? What is the average pay? I'm apprehensive to let someone stay in our home overnight that we do not know. She is the spouse of a deceased Military Airman. Will the VA Help at all?

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Google VetAssist Program. They can help you determine eligibility, what documents you will need and help with applying for Veteran's benefits through the VA. Eligibility will depend if her spouse was active duty or not.
Helpful Answer (1)

JannSimspon, when my Dad needed help during the night time, he hired caregivers from a professional caregiving agency, they were licensed, bonded, and insured.

The caregiver's job was to stay awake during the night, ok to watch TV or use their laptop, etc., as long as they can keep one ear open to listen for my Dad getting out of bed. These caregiver's, that was the only shift they worked, thus they would sleep during the day at their own home. This arrangement worked out quite well.

Yes, it was expensive. At the time the Agency was charging $30/hour [$240] a night. Dad also had 1st shift and 2nd shift caregivers as long as he was living at his home.

As for the VA, you would need to contact them to see what programs are available.
Helpful Answer (2)

One quick short-term answer might be to get a caregiver in for so many hours during the day so that you can get some sleep and recover from the night shift.

But longer term, if you don't want outsiders staying in your home then you're going to be out of options.

What about looking for respite care in a good facility, for say two to four weeks? This would give you the opportunity to see how well your mother adjusts; plus time to get back to normal yourself, so that you're not struggling to make decisions when you're exhausted and stressed.

I'm sure other posters will be along in a moment with good advice about your mother's VA entitlements.
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